Minnie

Dear God, help me understand how a dog like Minnie is meant to have other plans..I know I know I can't have her forever.'She 's not gone yet, far from it, can u just enjoy her forever.. Cos even though she may be in another journey and sooner or later u both have to part, connect to her soul thats merry, and forever u shall both never be apart. I know its hard to deal with the fact, as cancer could be the word that separates u both, from this world existence, where u are human and she is dog. Oh she is far more than dog. I hope u can see that now.. and don't worry so much on whats best for her.. if ur mind is quiet enough, I shall guide u at every try. She does long to see dear Brownie, he is her love affair from
forever ago. He had the patience to withstand any and all behaviors, he's angelic, and he's still here helping her more than u know. So have faith, I know its hard, but u have no choice, u cant escape, live this,and go beyond the tragic heart that attaches so incredibly, and that doesnt know how to let her part. It'll just be the body, just the shell, whenever its meant to be,it wont be hell, and you'll feel the peace as she transcends to light and sun, her aura will brighten, her glow will move beyond. She will fully emerge with Brownie and they shall comfort you until ur well. This is okay, dont be so frightened, its not always about keeping the body longer and longer.. its about respecting their age, their purpose, and their will. Shes 13 and shes delighted just to sleep in ur same room. She doesnt want all the surgeries,and all the medicine that make her blue, she just wants u to connect w/her essence and be happy for what her plans are, with or without u. we all journey in this misty heartfilled life, we share with many, and so
etimes, we have to say goodbye.& that time is far from here.

It's 4AM and I am enjoying the freedom of yoga- stretching and unifying, strengthening, lengthening, relaxing, inticing to be at peace, to be at freedom within me. I feel such ease, such warthm, such peace. I spent some hours having sister bonding with such a heart friend, times like these are irreplaceable, truly special, truly supportive, truly kind. Im so blessed to have sisters that perhaps not by blood but truly by heart, and then again, what is blood? as family really aren't we all? Deep down we are all closer than we think, and especially when sharing with such special friends who become our family thru thick and thin. I go to sleep now while I listen to Eckhart Tolle, I have such blessed spirits, helping me awaken to such compassion and such depth, thank u God, and now I rest. Night night.

Listening to this moment carries such depth and peace. The birds are filling the scenes with glorious music and orchestra. The breeze is cool. My sweet cat is sleeping and I see him breathing with ease. My orchid flower is still so vibrant and alive. My plants are shiny green. I feel my heart. I feel my feet planted on the floor. I see a picture of Brownie, the most amazing heart and soul in a dog's body that now is without that body.. How deep is my love for Brownie words can't describe..
I sense joy in the sunlight. I sense peace. I sense peace.

"Do I love u because ur beautiful or are u beautiful because I love u. "

Watching the movie Cinderella tonight. Loved how the prince said this to Cinderella the night of the ball.

whadda u do when...

Whadda u do when one of ur best friends tells u she has to have brain surgery because of a lesion, whadda u do?
Whadda u do when ur heart aches because of all the torment she's going thru, whadda u do?

Whadda u do when Cinderella's on TV and she's blue, but she still keeps a dream and sees it through..
She goes beyond the mean words and disgrace, and the slavery and the face
she sees in herself- the face thru the veils of harshness her family brainwashed her with.

Whadda u do when fiction and reality all live together, but only 1 reality does live forever.

Whadda u do when death is seen everyday. When yesterday at work, I opened the door to a man -with a stretcher- from the morgue, and a family in the hallway crying outloud because they lost their young child, whadda u do?

Compassion, understanding, love that's neverending, sweetness in the eyes, and a vision that sees deep inside, deep within the layers of pain, straight to the light within it all.

Within it all there is beauty, that lasts past the temporary skin, and what materialism brings..

The soul inside
forever lives in light,
and sees past it all.

Vices of many fill this life, but perhaps thru its challenges and strife, it helps us finally come back home. When we went beyond the pride, and became tired of the blame and the suffering of it all..its when we are just deeply ready to just come back home. We can always come back home.

God gives us what we need not what we want sometimes
if we can be at peace with that
we got it covered.
if we can change it change it or leave
but if not can we accept it and
stay in ease?

child of love
forgive yourself for anything youve done
you are more than merely what you have done
see it as everyday experiences
that guide you to what no longer serve your true self.
the only way by knowing what doesnt serve us anymore is by experiencing it,
boldly in our own lives or seeing it in another..
and i know. we told ourselves over and over again,
to not eat too late, or watch tv until late,
no wonder i wake up moody and angry at myself,
ive done this far too many times to know better but.....
do u see how you self punish yourself thru your words,
actions that arent even a big deal and u already putting urself on that cross.

can u give urself a break?
know that ur human,
just learn from it and promise urself
that ull try next time to sleep earlier,
to eat earlier, and definitely watch tv earlier..
especially tv can fill your mind with great unease,
its easy to pick up energies from those we see, that scream, and shout, and seem to get so furious..
and were just watching them on tv and soaking it all in and then hours later were also feeling all those feelings..
and stricken with tension..
we have to come back to ourselves
for deep introspection, and not let ourselves be carried away with the angry mind that punishes today.
catch it. catch it now.
stop and watch the tension
and send it love,
tension is like your lost suffering friend who needs a hug and some reassuring.
let it know u are there to help
and be neutral and understanding.
also feel the aliveness throughout your body at whole, down from your feet, up to your head... thats all.. just stop, watch, and breathe, and recycle..
this body has amazing capability of recycling,
like a wave, comes n goes,
also let whatever comes in, pass, and go.
love urself for not what happens,
give urself a chance
its never too late..
this is what life i