Lotus flower
you've shown me your blooms
You bloom so magestically
You bloom when you bloom
And sometimes you don't
like right now.

Your leaves are so small,
as if they're almost nonexistent,
but they're still green
and they still breathe
the air that I breathe.

Lotus flower
I'd love for you to come back
and widen your gaze
during the day
and at night you'd
close your eyes
and as your petals shut close
you'd say goodnight.

Lotus flower I remember
there were times
when I'd come home from work
tired & hardly noticed you.
I would stay inside & watch TV
& while your friend Jasmin shared her sweet scent of magic,
I wouln't even appreciate it well,
for I just wanted to distract myself,
go somewhere else,else except here,
for here sometimes carries hell.

Sometimes we avoid this moment you see,
for in order to feel the joy in this moment we must transcend the misery & the pain & disease that we face each given day,sometimes its unbearable to breathe,
or feel any ease.

But dear lotus flower I'm learning to face whatever is in this moment,
I'm learning to embrace whatever thought arises,
I'm learning to pray & ask God for assistance,
I'm learning through faith that all these things happen to gain wisdom & days of ultimate presence,
I'm learning to be aware of scanning w/in any struggles & stress &giving it love,
I'm learning to meditate, of training the mind to go certain ways, to not keep feeding those thoughts that bring upon judgement & hate,
it's odviously known that I still have those days that I feel moody & torn,but I come back & face whatever feels strong, & even those emotions that make me tear up, or want to scream out loud, I Still eventually appreciate for just like you know
dear Lotus flower that there is no
flower without mud,
no bliss w/o struggle.

Content is an everchanging mystery.
Sometimes in it there's ups,
sometimes there's downs.
Sometimes the other one goes his own way,
and sometimes he comes back later and reconsiders.
And then he may change his mind again.
Sometimes we back away too,
and sometimes we don't.
Sometimes life grants us surprises,some which make us smile,others which make us frown.
Because things are so relative,
for one minute we feel this, and the next minute we feel that.
One minute we want this and the next we want that.
One minute we stay with this person and the next we get tired and leave.
Or vice versa they get tired of us,
or slowly we just lose trust.
We may share with some that in which we can't share with another.
But
when we can connect spirit to spirit,regardless of the content it entails, then there is freedom and life that's peaceful, no strife when words come from within, from a sacred place, from that invisible light, from that higher state.
Consciousness is the love behind what we do.
Its not so much what we do,
its the spark inside, its the acceptance
within,allowing all to become, as is, while we do whatever we do.
And when feelings of sadness come about because our expectations were not met, we
ay feel so sad. so heartbroken, so confused, so dissapointed,so angry especially when these patterns keep repeating themselves...we want to lose hope fearing the worst.. fearing it will just continue again and again... we're so disgusted because we want so much to be loved.
This yearning for love is coming to an end beautifully,
because love is already here, it always was, it always is, it always will be.
Its truly impossible to find love on content of thoughts, body,
physical things,
change, and age...
Only essence truly remains.

Life,
you offer this ride of whirlwind emotions and plenty of experiences that always lead me to the same direction.
And that is love.
Not the love that wanders around to be known or wanted.
Not the love that seeks another to fulfill our inner extasies.
Not the love that is selfish.
Not the love that changes to hate when things don't go our way.
Not the love that gives without taking for wisdom teaches us receiving is just as special as giving.
Love can have many definitions and many ways of expressing.
Love can appear as love when in fact its infatuation or a desire.
But love,when real and sincere, not because its perks, but because of the profound compassion and gratitude, can instill such peace.
True love is when we can see the profoundness in the other, not just their physique.
True love is when we cry when they cry and when caring is the only and biggest principle.
Love is kind and humble.
Love is a deeper knowing that in us is forever regardless of the weather.
Love is forgiving.
Love is honest.
Love allows "mistakes" because it knows that is how we live and learn in life.
Love flowers life.
Life flowers love.
Love is a smile from the heart.
Love is not just romantic.
It is how we treat ourselves, it is how we treat all others.
Love is when we hug our beloved kitten and our heart becomes warm and soft.
Love is when we never give up when the other needs our support.
Love is great when the intentions behind the intentions is pure.
Love is not needy, its just shared mutually.
Love is grand.
Fear is sorrow.
Which one will we live by today?

a life without friends is a life without life.
friends remind us of smiles when we feel overwhelmed and torn.
friends remind us to cherish all days young or old.
friends remind us to hope even when we feel we dont belong.
friends remind us to awaken when we've closed the doors.
friends remind us that walls wide open keeps a heart sweet and young.
friends remind us to relaxed when we're stressed and solely
focused on problems that matter much less than the love that surrounds
us.
friends remind us to laugh again when we're drowned in thoughts.
friends remind us to change those habits that have caused us wars.
God reminds us through friends and sometimes animals that we're truly loved.
God speaks even within our hearts if we're ready to hold
a special place in our heart for not just the things but for the essence that shines within and above.
and when we shine,our eyes glow so bright and our vibration of love is felt to everywhere outside
so when a dear friend is feeling lost
we could be there to shine our light and remind them too that its okay to come back to the sweet surrender of Love.

Merton's palace of nowhere continued

We run and run in our squirrel cage, thinking the constant squeaking of the wheel of our achievements is a verification of our reality and worth. But in actual fact our frantic efforts to move on to the 10 more tasks that have to be done is nothing but a last ditch effort to drown out the haunting fears... The false self convinces itself that it is what it does. Hence the more it does,achieves,and experiences,the more real it becomes. But the success of this adventure is a temporary one. Finding our true self emerges when the adventure of the false self leaves us drained and exhausted. That is when we surrender to what was always there..
The stirring of the leaves p.98 makes the wind visible. Their stirring is the wind's stirring, their whisper is the wind's whisper. And so with love. Our actions of love make the invisible visible.
I have come to the place in my knowing that its not only what i do but that if love is in the background of what i do then there is peace,kindness, and true love.

How can we give birth to our true self? How can we emerge from our falsity and assume our true identity?The supreme practicality of spiritual life,the practicality of a drowning man who does not hesitate to drop his treasure in order to grab the rope. Buddha's sermon speaks we are all on fire,the question is can we get out of the fire while there is still time? Got this paragraph from Merton's Palace of Nowhere. I find it so amazing and true. How much longer to entertain dramas, misinterpretations, self doubt, neglect, arrogance, egoic thinking and wanting, patterns of fear and guilt..worrying over the arguments we had,who is right, defending our status... When can we surrender to the glow within? When can we surrender to the open heart that is open when we allow to be more transparent? Love... and everything that's not love eventually brings us back to Love, more and more profoundly so.