Listening to this moment carries such depth and peace. The birds are filling the scenes with glorious music and orchestra. The breeze is cool. My sweet cat is sleeping and I see him breathing with ease. My orchid flower is still so vibrant and alive. My plants are shiny green. I feel my heart. I feel my feet planted on the floor. I see a picture of Brownie, the most amazing heart and soul in a dog's body that now is without that body.. How deep is my love for Brownie words can't describe..
I sense joy in the sunlight. I sense peace. I sense peace.

"Do I love u because ur beautiful or are u beautiful because I love u. "

Watching the movie Cinderella tonight. Loved how the prince said this to Cinderella the night of the ball.

whadda u do when...

Whadda u do when one of ur best friends tells u she has to have brain surgery because of a lesion, whadda u do?
Whadda u do when ur heart aches because of all the torment she's going thru, whadda u do?

Whadda u do when Cinderella's on TV and she's blue, but she still keeps a dream and sees it through..
She goes beyond the mean words and disgrace, and the slavery and the face
she sees in herself- the face thru the veils of harshness her family brainwashed her with.

Whadda u do when fiction and reality all live together, but only 1 reality does live forever.

Whadda u do when death is seen everyday. When yesterday at work, I opened the door to a man -with a stretcher- from the morgue, and a family in the hallway crying outloud because they lost their young child, whadda u do?

Compassion, understanding, love that's neverending, sweetness in the eyes, and a vision that sees deep inside, deep within the layers of pain, straight to the light within it all.

Within it all there is beauty, that lasts past the temporary skin, and what materialism brings..

The soul inside
forever lives in light,
and sees past it all.

Vices of many fill this life, but perhaps thru its challenges and strife, it helps us finally come back home. When we went beyond the pride, and became tired of the blame and the suffering of it all..its when we are just deeply ready to just come back home. We can always come back home.

God gives us what we need not what we want sometimes
if we can be at peace with that
we got it covered.
if we can change it change it or leave
but if not can we accept it and
stay in ease?

child of love
forgive yourself for anything youve done
you are more than merely what you have done
see it as everyday experiences
that guide you to what no longer serve your true self.
the only way by knowing what doesnt serve us anymore is by experiencing it,
boldly in our own lives or seeing it in another..
and i know. we told ourselves over and over again,
to not eat too late, or watch tv until late,
no wonder i wake up moody and angry at myself,
ive done this far too many times to know better but.....
do u see how you self punish yourself thru your words,
actions that arent even a big deal and u already putting urself on that cross.

can u give urself a break?
know that ur human,
just learn from it and promise urself
that ull try next time to sleep earlier,
to eat earlier, and definitely watch tv earlier..
especially tv can fill your mind with great unease,
its easy to pick up energies from those we see, that scream, and shout, and seem to get so furious..
and were just watching them on tv and soaking it all in and then hours later were also feeling all those feelings..
and stricken with tension..
we have to come back to ourselves
for deep introspection, and not let ourselves be carried away with the angry mind that punishes today.
catch it. catch it now.
stop and watch the tension
and send it love,
tension is like your lost suffering friend who needs a hug and some reassuring.
let it know u are there to help
and be neutral and understanding.
also feel the aliveness throughout your body at whole, down from your feet, up to your head... thats all.. just stop, watch, and breathe, and recycle..
this body has amazing capability of recycling,
like a wave, comes n goes,
also let whatever comes in, pass, and go.
love urself for not what happens,
give urself a chance
its never too late..
this is what life i

owls and crocodiles

owls and crocodiles
sunflowers
and shiny armours
over a caterpillar's chest
no way better to look at nature's best

vegetable stew at dinner after a walk at the park..
wondering why my arms are so weak
after my workout.. what a week..
what a day..
its nice when we can share a smile and play..
with the dog
with our friends
life is short
but then again it never ends..

perhaps this body will shed and die sometime
as these bricks and stones may too dissolve to dust.
but the everescent life in a flower after the flower..
still dwells in life..
can we feel it?
or are we too busy in our minds?

its neat when we can use this recycling machine, and let out what we let in.
and as we clean it layer by layer
everything becomes clearer
everything becomes more transparent

and soon without trying
everything has a different face
everything becomes loving
because we see the lovingness within any and all acts.

people are lost sometimes and consumed by suffering
it can be so sad to watch and even
at times confusing
but let us not only focus on what is bad
for there is a glow of oneness within everyone,
and that's that
as i experience it.

and when a lost soul sees eyes of love regardless of whatever he has caused,
he too may finally for once feel accepted,and thru that love, which he probably never felt before,
will flower a transformation,
and love
may be the main ingredient from then on,
or not the,
may be it may take more time.
but a seed of kindness has been shared
for all ways
and perhaps it may be continued to be shared,
can we share it today?
we may not realize the power in our hug, in our smile, in our love..
until we see beyond
but regardless..
can we be true?
and love beyond most means?
all else that is not love eventually brings us back to the essence o

salutation to the moon

salutation to the moon
so bright
u amplify
life.
u strike the very chord in me
and as i see you i see me.

we are all reflections of eachother.
we are all mirror images of oneanother.
sometimes we hate to admit
that the weaknessess in him
we feel sometimes also..
until the honest heart
sheds an honest cry,
and eventually an honest laugh
and by this we awaken our path..
we transform
we transcend
we surpass
to no end
and slowly the layers slough off more and more until all is left is the crystal inside that remains warm.

and then we see within ourselves the same way as we see the moon
bright
transparent
loving
and forever
in bloom

Milarepa

The Life of Milarepa
A man who most would think would have no hope, no dreams, no life, no progress, no thought that there could ever be any hope, that he would get better.. How insane to participate in the killing of so many people, when they were flesh and blood, how could anyone ever think of performing such treason, is there any reason to ever trust in someone like this again? How could anyone? Most would defend..
Yet Milarepa showed the world what he could..
At first there was such guilt, without disguise.. He cursed his name, a thousand times..
He resisted healing from gurus around... He suffered so much, but through leaps and bounds.. he kept on going, finding that within all that masterpiece of pain, there was some glory, and some sweetness and depth.. he realized this is all we have that's left, beyond the multiple of layers, of skin, and mind, and bones, and feathers..

That we all have oneness and have it now.
That we all have the ability to reach it somehow.
But all the layers he faced and how..
All the guilt and blame and frowns..
All the hatred his family stored..
All the anger and attachment of it more and more..
He had to face all those layers,
face them straight on, face them each time they faced him.
And at times it was difficult to see..
All the layers screaming deep within..

But deep in the heart he knew it wasn't personal.
That all of us souls go through timeless dimensions..
We may do things that are horrible and that we regret,
but may we realize we don't have to be prisoners forever
of the things we fetched..

At times in plain anger we create such wars,
we create such struggles,
of selfish roars...

But we can go beyond anything we can.
Even if its tremendous, just like this man.
He faced what he did and he was so sorry..
But he went

Rain

Rain
Magnified 1000 times
Stronger than rocks hitting the face,
stronger than thoughts that are harsh,
stronger than an ox running wild and into
only 1 direction..
this way..

I know it seems like life can be a vivid bad dream
sometimes
where all is lost within that circle
and all feels clouded
all feels circled.
All may feel tense, strong, and blurry,
we try so hard to get rid of it,
in a hurry..
because we can't take it anymore..

But it's just a cloud, no less, no more..
It is not who we are
But what we do can come from an inner light
or this human pain that's trully
as overwhelming can be..

I felt it deep when a dear friend of mine
vented about his misery..
and then I spoke to his wife and
listened to her version..
All pain in hidden eyes,
with its own perceived
perception..

It's so sad when trust is lost
and all that's left is a faded love
but 2 dear hearts
come back to play when
all is left is the essence
that stays,
beyond the years,
beyond this life,
beyond these struggles,
beyond the strife..

It's crazy how one can act
when anger is attached to the heart..
Years of building and love
that's yielding can come to a full stop
blow
by an act of anger that hits like snow.

And it can take years rebuilding
what an act from ego caused-
it's bewildering to the heart,
I send them both all my love and my heart.
I send them both all my wishes
to see beyond the mind's sad existence.

And perhaps through time and space and faith,
Life can repair what broke from days
long and long and long ago..
Let's give a chance to
what is beyond the show.

Perhaps we all have to not be in order to now be
what we were not before..
Does that make sense?
Sometimes I feel like there's no pretense..
Dear God, help me put it lightly..
"Feel within, feel within the layers that mask
your cheery soul,
deep down, there's nothing to mourn..
for all is meant to be a game,
to help you come back,
to help you return.
To love."

full moon

On this night
where the full moon shines bright
all emotions are out there
emerging everywhere..
But its okay, because maybe in the next day
or two
can be of use
to face the stressors
that in the past we used.

Forgive him my mom says
and hang out with him
you should be friends...

Is it enough that I'm neutral about it and wish him well or do i have to hang out with him when our past was hell..
noone asked him to treat me so mean when I was young,
or take his anger on me because he was mad.

Perhaps it still hurts,
perhaps deep down it does..
perhaps I lack trust..
perhaps i lack love..

perhaps i never trusted him at all to tell
all my life passions, perhaps I've tried once or twice,but he seemed indifference and I fell into the same old
wall, that protective aspect that keeps us apart but at the same time keeps me well...

They say pray for those who have done u wrong is important to live..
but what if there was never anything done wrong because deep down it was all meant to be.

Perhaps some people in our lives are meant to act as the 'arrogant one' and may be other are meant to be 'the bullies'.. All these challenges, all this strife... helps one perhaps choose a lifestyle of compassion or a lifestyle of the same sad cries..

All people who treated me with anything less than respect taught me how not to treat others or how not to treat me,
with anything other than dignity.

All that is not love, eventually brings us back to love.

The Law of the Garbage Truck

Had to share (most of this I got from an article my friend gave me, then shared a few things from my own experiences in here too.. :)

One day I hopped on a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving on the right lane and suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on the brakes, skidded, and missed the other car just by inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved to the guy. And I mean he was really friendly.

So I asked., "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital." This is when the taxi driver taught me what I now call. 'The Law of the Garbage Truck'.

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, full of resentment, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up. they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it to you. Don't take it personally.

Some people have the wisdom actually to see that situation as an opportunity to help a friend out, so they take a little bit of that garbage, and dump it out themselves. Through their love they are able to collect that garbage and transform it into love. Such people are Reiki healers, counselors, psychologists, friends, and loved ones. In Buddhism there's a technique where one breathes in another person's suffering and exhales it out into the Universe once its transformed into love. Other people just are able to plainly maintain presence and that open light and love melts the other's suffering into love eventually. This happened to me once. I was in France and was so devastated. I met a young girl who was so sweet and kind and she listened to me vent for like 20 minutes. She didn't say a word, but looked at me with such compassion, understanding, and kindness. Her love melted all of my suffering. I was so grateful. It was such a beautiful moment.

So when a person comes with a garbage full of waste, just smile, wave, and wish them well. We don't have to keep their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So.. love the people who treat you right and pray for the ones who don't. Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.

Blessings!!!

Mike

My neighbor makes me smile.
I remember in the beginning when I'd knock at his door, and he'd come out with only his underwear on..
and my mouth was wide open and I was a bit surprised and confused,
that this 70 year old man,
has nothing to lose..
no feelings of embarrassment or fear i sensed from this man. He seemed so comfortable, so at ease..
& then I'd smile because it was kinda funny & cute..
Then I got used to it, year after year...

But it was so funny how this lady that brings him food on Tuesdays from meals on wheels knocked on his door, while I watched from the other side of the yard...
He came out in the same old way, wearing only underwear & socks and the look on her face,
made me intensely laugh...
It made my day although she was still in shock.
I had the same faith, that she too will eventually get used to it
& laugh.

He's so funny, sometimes he listens to his music for hours while the dog lies over his stomach & grouls...because she saw a cat then starts to bark but Mike is still sleeping, & I'm just smiling at this spectacle of daily life,
thats so comical to me.
Perhaps it reminds me of when he was asleep,
& someone put a cat nibble over his stomach, & the cat started eating while over his stomach, as he slept, his glasses were crooked while he snored, & the cat all the while was getting fed, another nibble of food.. Mike is a good sport, he knew he wasnt being ridiculed, because when he awakened he also laughed.

Mike, ur very sweet, the dad you are to these dogs, make you a king.
For a king is 1 who takes care of his community, & Mike's community are his dogs, which he loves like most others would never dream of.

I am so grateful for your funny ways,
the way you do things,
make me smile everyday..
Offcourse there's nuissances
but in all I love u in every way.

Minnie

Minnie
Pretty dog
but is that all you are made of?
No,not at all,
it is just the outer dimension.
Your beauty, your looks
is just your skin,
aloof we are when all we look
at is the superficial layer, we're not saints
but when I hold you in my arms and you cuddle with me and soak my heart,
and when you're cute and find a loaf of bread and carry it delightfully on your mouth,
but you were fed..
I think as I see you drool,
you always are ready to have some extra food.
You are smart, you make me laugh,
you are sweet, the sweetest actually,
gentle, loving, but sometimes sad.
Sometimes I see you sad when you whine for no reason, people may say you're very needy but I know you have your reasons.
you were abandoned by 3 families before,
you're used to being thrown out, when you're not wanted anymore.
You finally found a home and here you are to stay,
forever you are loved here,
on any given day.
Sugar spice, Sweet lullaby,
girl who dances in the ocean,
runner of the sand, lover and a fan
of the people who love you most.
You look at us with such love and devotion, and I am thankful
to have you too.
You are my best doggie friend.
I love you Minnie.
I Love u.

I love you

I hold you in my love
I carry you in my arms
I feel your heart, I feel your soul
I feel your essence within my soul
For your soul is my soul,
and this essence is one
One light, one light
and together the light becomes stronger
and magnified,
You help me to shine
I help you to shine
even though it feels like you are centered most of the time,
I see the sharing in our love.
I see the depths and kindness in our love.
And it flows and it beams.
In us there is no extreme,
just a tenderness,
a tender heart.
In us there's compassion,
we always give a willing part.

Life makes it more fascinating to me
when you are part of we.
I love you mercifully.

its ok, everything is okay in this moment. this moment carries a new breath. every moment carries a new breath. can u feel it? can u feel the essence of love thru ur breath? can u feel this support from beyond this world guiding you-never leaving u alone-even though sometimes it doesn't feels like its so-for when deep in our minds or habits nothing ever feels like silence.
when in our thoughts that race so fast, how could we even feel the treasure inside that always lasts.

but that still doesn't make it that we are alone. there's always a treasure in the heart, that's truly who we really are.
and when we come back to this place, we touch back to peace within our space, and then everything can be confronted with more ease.
Let love in, please.
U can do it, for its who u truly are.

never forget your origin.
never lose touch to what you have within-that star that sparks the room.
just open the doors and windows, and you shall see the glow that feels like sunshine.
don't just believe it, experience it.

just like the glow in a baby's eyes, it's like that because there is no mind, occupying his face, no fears filling up walls, its only love that is embraced.
and just seeing that little baby smile fills the room with treasures, he sparks our heart and sparks our eyes, and then our heart feels this warmth.
and without even knowing it, we connected deep within and beyond.

once connected. then eventually we became lost and disconnected, to eventually come back home. we eventually, when really ready, do come back home.

It feels like a re-run, I Get lost, I wake up, I get lost, I wake up again, at least it's better than before where I would be lost again and again. Times are changing, life is asking us to wake up in fast intervals, and it can be very frustrating -this massive awakening, that forces us to finally deal with our wounds, whereas before we tucked it away deep beneath the covers so we won't feel the storm.
But now it's different, everything's changed, things have less meaning, it is essence within that only remains.
I wake up, pack a lunch, but before it all, I feel the love. And if I don't because Im worried, or stressed, or fearful, or lost or hurried, I scan within. I look, I stop, I stop whatever but look within, and watch. I become more accepting of seeing what is. I'm no longer threatened, nor no longer get so mad that Im feeling this tense. I know its not me all these feelings, all these things. I know its just human tendencies, human behaviors, human pain. It's nothing personal, this tension inside the cup. All I can do is bring awareness in and awareness turns into love. When love is in the background of whatever I ever do, everything else melts into the love, it is its origin, it is the only thing that's true. Bring love in, bring it close, feel the aliveness in the hands and even in the feet or just the toes. Feel the tingling and the warmth as both hands almost touch, feel it everywhere and breathe slow, don't worry, all this is a show. Come back to love, its okay, to come back home.

New day and new ways of spending it. Things seem to have a different perspective when the day involves going to a funeral. Gosh, how we take people for granted sometimes. One day unexpectedly they go. Sometimes the only goodbye we have is seeing their body passing by in a casket with designs, that are filled with religious symbols, if that.. But today he soul was alive as day and amazed I felt her as I prayed. Oh the tears and fears and sadness and years of remembering her face, the cute and happy one that brought us smiles and cookies, Oh.. we embraced
her fully and now swept away to our unknown, a mysterious peek of nature while we slowly mourn. For some of us the afterdeath is not even a mystery for we lived it ourselves, if only but for a glimpse until our soul knew we had to come back to this shell, this body, this instrument, that's handy, this vehicle that can love, that can hate, that can stunn humanity at whole, from good to bad to none- our actions of many, can inspire, transform, or cause petty. Our actions can be kind, or malcicious, or bind us to tormented habits that wastes a precious moment, because of rage.
But when a passing like this comes to our life, we start to wonder how sacred is life. We start instrospecting and discover new ways to be more patient, to have more fun and play.
In the end we are not our habits or what we do, they are just experiences that could potentially possess us if we're not centered and true to our connection to our deeper being. When this light is felt, all else is transient, and meedleling.. Im making up that word, to me it means "back and forth". Duality is ongoing and unstable, but there's something deeper thats not. My friend is feeling this divinity now as we speak, her soul has been lifted, her light is all she can be. She probably is near her daughter

from tragedy to peace

Its amazing to hear how there were some people in the concentration camps who completely got in touch with peace in the midst of hell. As I was listening to Eckhart he mentioned how Jesus did the same thing. How inspiring that if others can completely go deeply within, we can too. Some traumas are unbearable, truly unbearable, and then things keep happening to bring out the tragedy more and more, in different ways, unexpectedly, and each time its so, we fall... deep into that hole. But Im finding myself coming out,lifting myself up from the ground, and I guess in each challenge that arises, a fruitfilled lesson is here in disguises, that asks us to live, and surrender to the past, and be, the life we really are. We are not the story, but this magical star, this bright filled star that lights the room and heart. Everything on the surface seems like its so important, it beams
for our attention, extremes of
unaffection or severe
culminations of fear and violations of space and respect- the exterior can be such a threat.
Our safety can be in despair, we can lose trust, our body, or be without air.
What can happen on the surface can be truly insane,
but what if it is all a play, & we are actors today, could we take life less seriously and play? & if we lose to monopoly we still feel okay.
All that's forever is the inside of the heart, that warm loving feeling, that helps us to laugh, the sweet love w/in that gives us a glow, the kindness within, the spark, the old friend that looks at us softly, w/compassion, & warmly reminds us its all okay, when we're suffering on a particular day. Its that gentle soul within, that knows nothing more than surrendering and saying yes to what is now & making the most of it somehow.
Can we truly come back home (regardless of the hurt)?
Hurt eases when the story ceases.

bits from Eckhart Tolle

the root of suffering

when we see someone thru mind actvity, trapped into reducing someone into a mind object, even if that mind object is merely a woman, separate from me. Deny thyself stated by Jesus, dissolve thyself, in order to reduce the story of the head, otherwise we have to always add to ourselves, better teacher, a doctor, own a facility, father,
smart, spiritual.... we are already in our fullness but its obscured by needing mind structures. all that is needed is allowing this moment to be as it is. the now takes many forms, forms may dissolve. become aware. people think now is what happens but what happens changes continously. now is the vast spaciousness in which everything unfolds. futility and madness of no eventually brings us to a yes when the suffering forces us to surrender. yes, this is going on, this person, this emotion, a thought, event, a breakdown, if theres a no, it strengthens form identity-the ME. With a yes, the openess comes, and a miracle happens and you no longer react to the form of what is. and stepping out of 100000 of years of mind patterns. for some it takes something so painful, that theres surrender, others encounter tremendous suffering and dont say yes. but we dont have to wait for disaster, for the yes can at this moment for whatever appears. ego is never aligned with life.

my story, my relationships...my experiences... dont look for who i am in the content. i am not complete in the content of the mind. desire,craving,or thirst,wanting,needing because we are looking for ourselves in realm of content with eating or sexuality, unconscious impulse.. its not really the content but were looking for ourself, running this civilizations, clothing,money, relationships, looking for a long time.. but suddenly comes the realization.. the lack is there, the fear is there.

dear butterfly

Dear butterfly, I found u on the ground. The remains of ur wings in pieces on the ground not yet collecting dust for your soul freshly departed from this body (I hold now in my left hand). As I write I feel. My heart feels you near. My heart sends your love. My heart mourns your loss yet I know you don't (mourn). Though as beautiful as it is, these wings had a purpose, and now they're free to collect in the surface, of earth, and break free like all things are meant to be.Particle by particle, the dust that in time will be these wings, never you, for the wings were not you, but your vehicle. and you used your vehicle quite well. You started out embedded in the earth eating leaves until they were free of leaves and bare. Good appetite you had so you can mature and swivel yourself into a cocoon for what seems like a long time. when it was time to come out, you struggled,but you took your time. you struggled as you needed to do. They say butterflies who have never struggled at 1St never end up making it past the nest but you did. You faced the challenge, you persevered and thru patience the time came near and you broke free and wandered endessly thru the breeze, beyond the trees. You fed for a while and then you danced again with the wind as your partner and friend. You flowed with ease. Many became inspired just by glancing at you. You never had to try to be your best,just the nature of your free spirit showed the rest how to live life free, without entertaining a thought for its never really more important than living life lightly. Now you've departed fro
this shell and gently you're reminding me to live as if noone else, is watching or judging outloud, that's their stuff. Can I be free?
That's eventually perhaps what we're all meant to be.

Human BEINGS.
Are our actions based on the human tendencies in which come about or do our actions arise from that higher purpose,from our deep essence of beingness? That is indeed a question to ask oneself at each given minute, at each waking moment one is offered the ultimate choice, and sometimes how we choose carry much baggage of consequences afterwards. However let us not concentrate on the malactions of others for they know not what they do sometimes, as Jesus put it politely. We are all human beings & carry many similar human temptations and tendencies- one way or the other.
Let us just be inspired and choose. Which part of me will be the captain of this ship? The intellect, the senses, the fears, the emotions, the desires, the attachment, the jealousy, the greed, the insecurities, the selfishness, and all those other tendencies that go in that category of human tendencies? OR do we choose beingness, the core of our ship, the center, the forever circle of ilumination that completes us, that embodies us with who we really are (if we can even silence everything else to connect to this plane of consciousness that is so warm, so loving, so generous, so forgiving,so centered, so kind, so patient, such life). Such aliveness in every moment of the day, sometimes we get glimpses of it and when we do everything becomes okay. Like when we go mountain climbing and the need to focus is so strong that we automatically silence everything else, and the day becomes so vibrant, so full of life, every leaf has a new spark, the day becomes more than a day,it becomes a work of conscious art. Or when we see a new baby for the 1st time and our heart starts to warm up with such love that is so kind. We get glimpses of beingness everyday when we do something joyous, caring, when we are conscious w/ our actions,