A great bond

When I was little I used to go to these expensive restaurants with my family when my aunt and uncle from Curacao where staying in their 2nd home on Manhattan. It was fancy.. their apartment, the sofas, the kitchen...

One day we went to this particular restaurant and I saw these funny fish in a tank. They were beautiful. My heart melted when our eyes connected. Then I saw the same waiter grab one of them and took him in the kitchen. I had to follow. I was a curious 10 year old, but I was also wondering about my new friend. My heart crushed and splattered as he put this delightful kind soul into a boiling tank. I heard him crying. I cried and alone I felt.. alone not knowing how to speak out or even share my pain.. my lack of understanding of why these things occured.

I only knew back then how to be a listener. Even as a little child, it was me in a world where everyone was busy, except for my barbies, in which luckily, I had to talk with. Thinking back, everyone did the best they could, and did the best they knew- and they worked two jobs to make it through.. My dad being in the Holocaust and all, had veils of suffering within any hug I don't remember.. And my mom had her sufferings as well.. Trying to gain the material wealth that in her youth she never felt. To her it was a big deal to buy us a coat, but deep down all I wanted was love.

We need to not be in order to be. We need to experience loss in order to appreciate gain. We need to live that in order to surpass it. I wouldn't have the compassion I have today if it weren't for my past, if it weren't for my struggles. To understand another in pain, I feel, at least in my life, it helps when we also endured such pain.

Yet getting back to these gentle fish- my love affair with those sweet loving clawed fish never went away. Later I was told they are called lobsters.

Today at Publix I passed by the same tank I always pass. I kiss them and say a prayer for them. Today when I looked in one of them looked back, bonding with me with the same love and it makes me now cry. It makes me cry to know their fate, and that its due to Human Choices.

Our surface is just content, it's temporary, it's perishable, but our love, our oneness, this bond, this profound connection is eternal.

May I see you dear fish in my dreams and in the stars.

Sometimes it's so sad what things we go through, its so sad and devastating how people just walk by without the need to stop, no looking with compassion or kindness in their eyes, just thoughts of me... and the next thing that needs to be done in an arrogant cry..

I cannot understand the lack of empathy, to such loving creatures that spark out divinity. Magestically they are wise, wise eyes, wise heart. They deserve as much love, as any dog or any cat alike. Also the pigs out there that can't even turn, they are stuck in factories full of poop, full of hatred, because they are manipulated by workers who are there to serve a purpose- to keep an industry that's made of violent acts, there is no consideration, or love or acts, of kindness or understanding- no sense of empathy, no altruism, just madness.

And the cows that are beautiful to hear- a loud moo moo and their tender ears that shoot straight up, when spoken to. I remember Sylvia the cow actually purr when I rubbed her pregnant tummy with all my love.. Such sweet embraces, I remember and do- appreciate all I have been through- to keep me in observance of what is truth. Love.

May we always catch our tendencies and return to the profound caring love that we are. I send all the creatures who suffer- all my love. Choose Love.

And everything that's not love eventually brings us back to LOVE EVEN MORE.

what a heavenly day.
each day is so blissful,
and even thought at times emotions are challenging or thoughts can take us here or there- usually there..
and everywhere but here, this divine moment where we are free to face the beingness within,
the oneness that's always available,
the kindness that's full of grace,
hugging us in a warm embrace,
a shining light, a feeling so warm,
so loving, so peaceful, so full
yet with such space,
ahh this bliss, on this day.

we all want to find happiness and we think if the other person wants us then we have a chance, but for so
e reason many people turn tp those incapable of loving others with the ongoing wish that they will please them and love them endessly. and it caves the poor broken hearted soul, that craves for love, outside, while all the while that love was there in the least odvious of places.. within.

within there's a power without words that can explain it really.
people search and search but when they stop the frustrating search and merely just observe they see its right there,
as if a sun was beaming inside them,
glorious and transparent,
iluminating all senses,
mind is quiet and surrendered.
body is calm, and even if there's physical pain, the aliveness within and throughout iis so much more grand, it makes everything else so inexisttent,
and without expectation, the light calms the surface, transmuting it into the love in which it came.
love,
everything thats not love eventually brings us back to love more and more.

I find refuge in you
trees.
I find safety here,
in this sacred space
of sacred places.

These trees.
This earth.
This peace.
This air
that is fresh
and fragrant
with a delightful
aromatic scent
of nature.

Trees
you bend from the sides
and along with other trees
you create a canopy over my head
and as i look up
I cannot forget
this beauty,
this life,
these colors,
my mind-
is silent and at peace.
All I know is that at this moment
I breathe.

What most that matters to me
is this essence inside of me
and with nature I share
the "breeze".

Quoted lots from this video, amazing video!!! Amazing!!!!!

Listening to Jill Bolte Taylor
I was reminded by her the other day when I had a patient
delightful and sweet,
when our eyes met, I felt such freedom
in her eyes,
her vibes
were transparent,
like a baby that just just came onboard and woke up,
with eyes so curious,
her expression was so warm.

She'd smile and play and laugh and gaze
She had no fear, no worries, nothing in her mind
keeping her preoccupied.
She was present, there was no disguise.

And when I saw that her left hemisphere was affected,
I knew, I just knew as I smiled and reflected,
that this pattern I am seeing again and again,
in patients with left brain strokes,

Again and again,
I see this spark in their eyes
and not the rushing mind.
It's amazing how she was completely in her right brain-
"understanding that right here,
and right now, we are perfect, whole, and beautiful".


It's so amazing how the left brain works, according
to Jill Bolte Taylor,
and how it correlates with the ego- "the past
and the future. It thinks linearly and
methodically. It's designed to analyze the
present moment, categorizing all that information,
associating everything from the past and projects
into future all the possibilities..
All that language.. the chitter chatter...
That calculating voice, causing me to
be separate from all, even from you".

Her day of the stroke-
Jill, a renowned brain scientist, had a stroke,
a left sided stroke,
and "that day she saw everything had slowed,
she lost her balance, looked at her arm and noticed
she couldn't define boundaries of her body, of where
I begin and where I end because all the molecules of the
arm blended with the molecules of the wall..
The left brain chatter went silent as if someone
put the mute button.. She was captivated by the energy
around her, feeling this expansive energy, it was so
beautiful there.. la la land.. Totally disconnected from mind chatter,
all the stress from job, etc was gone, and felt lighter in my body.
She felt this sense of peacefulness,
losing 37 years of emotional baggage, she felt
EUPHORIA, and left brain comes back saying "you need help,
can I drive? Oh my God I'm having a stroke.. "
And right brain just saying "so cool"..

It took her so long to coordinate making a phone call to get help.
The hemmorrhage is at the time getting bigger...
Eventually she got help...

The video goes on and on..
Her transparency in connecting and expressing her light is beautiful.
She mentions she "felt her spirit surrender",
that she "was no longer just a scientist..".
She "felt enormous and expansive like a genie liberated from her bottle,
spirit soared free like a whale.. Nirvana.. she found nirvana..
She realized there was no way she could squeeze the enormousness
back into this little body. She pictures compassionate loving people
that could come back to this place anytime, and find this peace."

"Who are we?
(right hemisphere)
The lifeforce power of the universe.
at one with all there is or
(left hemisphere)
A single individual, separate from the flow,
separate from you-
(Jill, intellectual, neuroanatomist)

These are the WE inside of me-
Which would you choose,
Which do you choose?
and when?"

"The more time we choose our right hemisphere, the more peace we project into the world and the more peaceful our planet will be and I thought that's an idea worth spreading."

AWSOME!

Lotus flower
you've shown me your blooms
You bloom so magestically
You bloom when you bloom
And sometimes you don't
like right now.

Your leaves are so small,
as if they're almost nonexistent,
but they're still green
and they still breathe
the air that I breathe.

Lotus flower
I'd love for you to come back
and widen your gaze
during the day
and at night you'd
close your eyes
and as your petals shut close
you'd say goodnight.

Lotus flower I remember
there were times
when I'd come home from work
tired & hardly noticed you.
I would stay inside & watch TV
& while your friend Jasmin shared her sweet scent of magic,
I wouln't even appreciate it well,
for I just wanted to distract myself,
go somewhere else,else except here,
for here sometimes carries hell.

Sometimes we avoid this moment you see,
for in order to feel the joy in this moment we must transcend the misery & the pain & disease that we face each given day,sometimes its unbearable to breathe,
or feel any ease.

But dear lotus flower I'm learning to face whatever is in this moment,
I'm learning to embrace whatever thought arises,
I'm learning to pray & ask God for assistance,
I'm learning through faith that all these things happen to gain wisdom & days of ultimate presence,
I'm learning to be aware of scanning w/in any struggles & stress &giving it love,
I'm learning to meditate, of training the mind to go certain ways, to not keep feeding those thoughts that bring upon judgement & hate,
it's odviously known that I still have those days that I feel moody & torn,but I come back & face whatever feels strong, & even those emotions that make me tear up, or want to scream out loud, I Still eventually appreciate for just like you know
dear Lotus flower that there is no
flower without mud,
no bliss w/o struggle.

Content is an everchanging mystery.
Sometimes in it there's ups,
sometimes there's downs.
Sometimes the other one goes his own way,
and sometimes he comes back later and reconsiders.
And then he may change his mind again.
Sometimes we back away too,
and sometimes we don't.
Sometimes life grants us surprises,some which make us smile,others which make us frown.
Because things are so relative,
for one minute we feel this, and the next minute we feel that.
One minute we want this and the next we want that.
One minute we stay with this person and the next we get tired and leave.
Or vice versa they get tired of us,
or slowly we just lose trust.
We may share with some that in which we can't share with another.
But
when we can connect spirit to spirit,regardless of the content it entails, then there is freedom and life that's peaceful, no strife when words come from within, from a sacred place, from that invisible light, from that higher state.
Consciousness is the love behind what we do.
Its not so much what we do,
its the spark inside, its the acceptance
within,allowing all to become, as is, while we do whatever we do.
And when feelings of sadness come about because our expectations were not met, we
ay feel so sad. so heartbroken, so confused, so dissapointed,so angry especially when these patterns keep repeating themselves...we want to lose hope fearing the worst.. fearing it will just continue again and again... we're so disgusted because we want so much to be loved.
This yearning for love is coming to an end beautifully,
because love is already here, it always was, it always is, it always will be.
Its truly impossible to find love on content of thoughts, body,
physical things,
change, and age...
Only essence truly remains.

Life,
you offer this ride of whirlwind emotions and plenty of experiences that always lead me to the same direction.
And that is love.
Not the love that wanders around to be known or wanted.
Not the love that seeks another to fulfill our inner extasies.
Not the love that is selfish.
Not the love that changes to hate when things don't go our way.
Not the love that gives without taking for wisdom teaches us receiving is just as special as giving.
Love can have many definitions and many ways of expressing.
Love can appear as love when in fact its infatuation or a desire.
But love,when real and sincere, not because its perks, but because of the profound compassion and gratitude, can instill such peace.
True love is when we can see the profoundness in the other, not just their physique.
True love is when we cry when they cry and when caring is the only and biggest principle.
Love is kind and humble.
Love is a deeper knowing that in us is forever regardless of the weather.
Love is forgiving.
Love is honest.
Love allows "mistakes" because it knows that is how we live and learn in life.
Love flowers life.
Life flowers love.
Love is a smile from the heart.
Love is not just romantic.
It is how we treat ourselves, it is how we treat all others.
Love is when we hug our beloved kitten and our heart becomes warm and soft.
Love is when we never give up when the other needs our support.
Love is great when the intentions behind the intentions is pure.
Love is not needy, its just shared mutually.
Love is grand.
Fear is sorrow.
Which one will we live by today?