Content is an everchanging mystery.
Sometimes in it there's ups,
sometimes there's downs.
Sometimes the other one goes his own way,
and sometimes he comes back later and reconsiders.
And then he may change his mind again.
Sometimes we back away too,
and sometimes we don't.
Sometimes life grants us surprises,some which make us smile,others which make us frown.
Because things are so relative,
for one minute we feel this, and the next minute we feel that.
One minute we want this and the next we want that.
One minute we stay with this person and the next we get tired and leave.
Or vice versa they get tired of us,
or slowly we just lose trust.
We may share with some that in which we can't share with another.
But
when we can connect spirit to spirit,regardless of the content it entails, then there is freedom and life that's peaceful, no strife when words come from within, from a sacred place, from that invisible light, from that higher state.
Consciousness is the love behind what we do.
Its not so much what we do,
its the spark inside, its the acceptance
within,allowing all to become, as is, while we do whatever we do.
And when feelings of sadness come about because our expectations were not met, we
ay feel so sad. so heartbroken, so confused, so dissapointed,so angry especially when these patterns keep repeating themselves...we want to lose hope fearing the worst.. fearing it will just continue again and again... we're so disgusted because we want so much to be loved.
This yearning for love is coming to an end beautifully,
because love is already here, it always was, it always is, it always will be.
Its truly impossible to find love on content of thoughts, body,
physical things,
change, and age...
Only essence truly remains.

Life,
you offer this ride of whirlwind emotions and plenty of experiences that always lead me to the same direction.
And that is love.
Not the love that wanders around to be known or wanted.
Not the love that seeks another to fulfill our inner extasies.
Not the love that is selfish.
Not the love that changes to hate when things don't go our way.
Not the love that gives without taking for wisdom teaches us receiving is just as special as giving.
Love can have many definitions and many ways of expressing.
Love can appear as love when in fact its infatuation or a desire.
But love,when real and sincere, not because its perks, but because of the profound compassion and gratitude, can instill such peace.
True love is when we can see the profoundness in the other, not just their physique.
True love is when we cry when they cry and when caring is the only and biggest principle.
Love is kind and humble.
Love is a deeper knowing that in us is forever regardless of the weather.
Love is forgiving.
Love is honest.
Love allows "mistakes" because it knows that is how we live and learn in life.
Love flowers life.
Life flowers love.
Love is a smile from the heart.
Love is not just romantic.
It is how we treat ourselves, it is how we treat all others.
Love is when we hug our beloved kitten and our heart becomes warm and soft.
Love is when we never give up when the other needs our support.
Love is great when the intentions behind the intentions is pure.
Love is not needy, its just shared mutually.
Love is grand.
Fear is sorrow.
Which one will we live by today?

a life without friends is a life without life.
friends remind us of smiles when we feel overwhelmed and torn.
friends remind us to cherish all days young or old.
friends remind us to hope even when we feel we dont belong.
friends remind us to awaken when we've closed the doors.
friends remind us that walls wide open keeps a heart sweet and young.
friends remind us to relaxed when we're stressed and solely
focused on problems that matter much less than the love that surrounds
us.
friends remind us to laugh again when we're drowned in thoughts.
friends remind us to change those habits that have caused us wars.
God reminds us through friends and sometimes animals that we're truly loved.
God speaks even within our hearts if we're ready to hold
a special place in our heart for not just the things but for the essence that shines within and above.
and when we shine,our eyes glow so bright and our vibration of love is felt to everywhere outside
so when a dear friend is feeling lost
we could be there to shine our light and remind them too that its okay to come back to the sweet surrender of Love.

Merton's palace of nowhere continued

We run and run in our squirrel cage, thinking the constant squeaking of the wheel of our achievements is a verification of our reality and worth. But in actual fact our frantic efforts to move on to the 10 more tasks that have to be done is nothing but a last ditch effort to drown out the haunting fears... The false self convinces itself that it is what it does. Hence the more it does,achieves,and experiences,the more real it becomes. But the success of this adventure is a temporary one. Finding our true self emerges when the adventure of the false self leaves us drained and exhausted. That is when we surrender to what was always there..
The stirring of the leaves p.98 makes the wind visible. Their stirring is the wind's stirring, their whisper is the wind's whisper. And so with love. Our actions of love make the invisible visible.
I have come to the place in my knowing that its not only what i do but that if love is in the background of what i do then there is peace,kindness, and true love.

How can we give birth to our true self? How can we emerge from our falsity and assume our true identity?The supreme practicality of spiritual life,the practicality of a drowning man who does not hesitate to drop his treasure in order to grab the rope. Buddha's sermon speaks we are all on fire,the question is can we get out of the fire while there is still time? Got this paragraph from Merton's Palace of Nowhere. I find it so amazing and true. How much longer to entertain dramas, misinterpretations, self doubt, neglect, arrogance, egoic thinking and wanting, patterns of fear and guilt..worrying over the arguments we had,who is right, defending our status... When can we surrender to the glow within? When can we surrender to the open heart that is open when we allow to be more transparent? Love... and everything that's not love eventually brings us back to Love, more and more profoundly so.

The Aftermath..

Aren't emotions nuts?
They can keep our mind hurried,
we become unreasonable,
we make a fuss,
we repeat the same old story
2 million times,

Just hush-
we tell ourselves
but
it seems a neverending,
a neverending hell..

And then a kind friend guides our path,
shows us reason,
helps with the math-
we slowly see both sides of that damn old coin,
we start letting go,
the story gets old.

We breathe again with a new deep sigh,
we say thank God,
we say goodbye,
to the worries in the head
and the emotions that gave us a head-
ache.

Oh Lord, thank you dearly,
for seeing that negative judgement is
like a a fever that never leaves thee-
who chooses to entertain it near or far.
I'm training myself to surpass this car-
ride to hell,
I rather see flowers, I rather see a sun,
I never knew that I fell
so far in the earth,
when someone's false accusation
turned into a poison
in which I deeply within
felt.

I like the poem from Mother Teresa
because it's true-
people may lie, and steal, and judge,
and reveal dark truths only to hurt,
they may take our money or our pride,
but in the end if we choose love
we see that it was never about working sooo
hard- to gain their trust.

In the end it was about us and God
and the wisdom that in the end we gained.

Ohhh this amusing ride that we are taking...
Roles people play from the arrogant to the insecure,
to the victim and the one with the-
guilty ride of selfish pain,
but for some reason- why do we do it again and again?

When are we ready to stop these dark circles?
These cycles after a while become more odvious,
more hurtful-
it becomes so disastrous that we eventually plead-
we hang our white flag,
we surrender and flee
these human habits that no longer serve our light,
for we choose sweet kindness instead of continual strife-

And then whenever we see anything dark
we look
beyond the dark night
into the soft stars.

For if the night were clear as day, the stars wouldn't be seen-
they'd fade away.

Perhaps duality is important to be-
in this curious physical world that we ultimately
need to leave-

Its a temporary place,
with a temporary face.

But in all-
can we see the brilliance within everybody's shades?

Deep light sparkling eyes that looks with kindness
when the soul's alive.

May we ultimately connect to what's eternally within,
for it is the treasure most lovely,
as I feel it in the aliveness within my skin.

New scratches at the door
the path of life,
the car that drives,
1000 miles a day,
in the head, without vain
or sane conviction...
it just goes on and on
without prediction.

But then warmly consciousness
reconnected, once was lost,
now redirected,
it always was there and now,
but now its found,
and life becomes bliss-
somehow we forget and come back to the mind..
not the mind of knowledge, but the mind that takes over
and believes a false lie of stories that were never ever true-
believing we are less, or any more than another,
how clue
less
we are
when we
believe the words of the head.
Can we just
drive far?
-far away from this hell,
but is it really hell? -if
hell motivates us to come out of hell?
When we are tired of suffering,
headaches and all,
headaches from suffering,
thinking too much and emotions of despair,
emotions of depression,
emotions that keep us stuck,
keep us buried..
But the embarrased person hides it,
pretends he or she is never "that weak.."
and with a face of disguise,
acts a face that is happy and..
Freak,
Can't we all just be real..

We are all feeling all these feelings..
We are all at times insecure,
or feel we are better.. it's called the ego
or it's called other things
but can we be true?
-that we are all facing similar struggles,
struggles perhaps in different ways,
but in truth we are all facing
a myriad of human tendencies -of
behaviors and emotions, of vices of many
-from jealousy and anger, and
sadness and blame, or righteousness or
judgement, or loneliness or fame..
We doubt, we react, we subtract, we extract,
we look at nature without looking at nature,
because we're busy thinking about "why this person
has such a temper..."

Oh life, its okay,
I'm realizing it's all in the end okay,
that even all the violence in all the world is trivial,
and every act and emotion is temporary.
I feel the only thing that lasts is not even a thing,
it's the ultimate formless that things contain around-this essence,
this bliss, this formless living angelic realm,
this spirit, this heaven, this love, this haven,
this consciousness, this God,
whatever the name, whatever the cause,
each religion fights because each think theirs is right

BUT what if they all perhaps connect to the same very sight
of love, of yonder,
of whispering guidance, of thunder,
of calmness within the streams,
of purity, of sweet loving dreams,
the guidance within the heart, the connectedness
that wins our hearts, the knowing that knows and trusts,
the voice that's highest and doubts no thoughts,
it is accurate, it is felt and experienced when we are ready,
it is lovely, it is merry, it is peaceful as peaceful can be,
it is what keeps us going when we wish to flee..

Oh dear God when I'm awake,
I thank you so, for keeping me sane.
I thank you Lord for waking up,
and also thank the stars above.
I know to be found, I have to have been lost before,
and continue with this yo yo ride until I wish no more.

Cycles of duality will continue to stay,
until we transition our life, until we wish to reach this higher state
and pray, meditate, be connected in this heavenly love in that we are,
this is heaven, this is my home, this is my origin, this is my love.

And with this love, in the background of whatever I do,
becomes the glow in what I do, it becomes the truth.

Sometimes we have to go around in circles again and again,
until we master our path and know our way.

Heavenly Father I know this is all in the end a game..
True love is the only answer.
In this I will keep my faith.

Everything that is not love eventually brings us back to love more and more everyday.