I saw a woman today during her last moments before death
and her devoted nephew by her side wallowing his breath.
Sad yet confused, knowing he soon had to say goodbye,
but deep down there was a peace in his eyes because
he knew she'd be alright.

Her nephew was mentioning
that she's always been the Best-
always sweetly giving him kindness all his life-
he even mentioned he wished his mother made him smile like she has..
A special relationship-
he mentioned she was there for him so many times
even just recently-
when he had heart surgery and was hospitalized-
But now it's her that's hardly alive.

Her head was bent forward as if she was dead.
I wanted so much to help her to she can rest
her head on a pillow,
and when I repositioned her slowly
I smiled at her warmly
and she went from a blank stare to suddenly a smile
as she looked at me closely, we bonded for a while.

She slowly started to unwind
and she finally allowed us to feed her some wine--
naah just kidding- it was just apple sauce,
but she liked it as she opened her mouth she wanted more.

She liked me moving her little arms,
the smile of kindness works like a charm.

I tried encouraging the yummy-ness of vegetables
to her nephew in the room,
for he said he only eats junk food
as he admitted he suffers from kidney failure and heart failure too.
He promised he'd go to Sublime, my favorite vegan restaurant of all.
I hope he does, for it's a shame when disease that's preventable takes over
and causes one's health to take a harsh fall...


Slowly she allowed us to bring her head fully back,
and as I was leaving the room I noticed
she was relaxed
and with her eyes closed she seemed as if she was taking a nap..

I go to sleep now thinking of her,
it's funny how we bonded, what an honor to have shared.
It's those profound moments when we can look warmly into eachother's eyes.
Dear little 98 year old, sleep well and may you feel free to smile or cry.
Wherever you are may you always know deep down you're alright.
And I am so glad your glow today met mine.

:)

 

Can we be a rock that's standing tall
but be soft enough to give a hug
and feel the warmth of life and day
and settle with the trees
while dirt falls-
from us-
with the breeze.

Can we be like a rock
that eventually becomes
the transparent crystal?
A crystal of light-
A crystal that opened up to God's light,
and she delicately opened up inside.

It is the ultimate reality of what is-
of breaking off the shell's
bickering pistols-
and in doing so we reach great wisdom.

Can we be brave and find within
beyond the stories
that are thick or thin,
and the obstacles that can try to drown us in,
if we're not careful, focused, devoted-
Oh Beloved life
that through transitions
you help us laugh and gain perspective,
a sense of freedom
that's purely perfected

Life makes us grow
and introspect
if we can just go
beyond the stories in our head.

We are worth exploring all the glories.
We are worth exploring
who we are.
We are deep down a
Magical Enlightened *** Star ***
Peace!

Saying goodbye can make us cry
Ohh, that dear loved one who
brought us love and
sweet perfumes,
I'll never forget
the times we spent.
I'll never forget the growth
that swept our dear footsteps.

I'll never forget the times we wept
from mean things we said,
and mean things we kept-
inside our brains, inside our hearts-
resentment speaks in a dark filled blob
of angry worries.
Yet love, when really is love,
starts going beyond "the stories"
and realizes we all have met
for some profound reason
so that inside we can grow
in a kind of wisdom
that sparks true freedom
that's divine and true-
for all things that are not love
eventually help us bloom.

Everytime someone does something
I don't want,
it helps me ask myself-
have I also ever cried the same cry?
Have I ever insulted in a similar way?
Have I ever not been there for another
or for myself in a similar way?
And then it gives me inspiration
and direction
to start a new day in a very new way,
and I love how it brings me sweet wisdom today.

When I realize relationships bring
a kind of wisdom that's stored within-
that relationships are for growth,
not only for hugs and kisses that are so dear
and so lovely, as we share true intimacies
that's filled with yummy-
yummy feelings and yummy laughs,
there's more to that that fits the glass.
When relationship is created
out of respect and equality
and allowing eachother to mess up
because we know the focus is to gear
ourselves back in-
and truly focus to make this work
with love and purpose-
that's the kind of relationship I feel that works.
That's a real relationship to me,
a solid foundation that's full of peace.
I've come to know a real relationship with
another is strong,
once a real relationship with ourselves is
truly reborn.

May you always grow to a deeper you!
And may I always remember the kindness
we bloomed.
Everything else was just a lesson.
I send you love that's worth to mention.
In the end- the word is LOVE.

Being ourselves

 

We may feel like we can be ourselves
with certain people-
We feel comfortable with them,
we can be real with them,
we can be creative,
and be youthful.
We can make funny faces to eachother
and smile,
or we can lean on eachother when we cry-
for a while.

In all, it's wonderful to see
when we have friends in which
we can allow ourselves to be
this way- which is so loving.
I honestly love it,
it's never boring.
And when we're with others
with whom we can't seem
to get a grip, or feel this way,
then it helps us to appreciate better
our blessed days with our dearest friends
that love us without an end,
that love us through thick and thin-
just as we love them from this profound love within.

Everything that is not love eventually brings us to love!!
More and more- more clearly.

 

On our road ahead
how come sometimes it feels like we are going backwards
and we get so mad at ourselves for allowing it so
for we should really know better, right?
We know...
but our hearts forget it so.
We know...
but our minds trick us again
to believe that old song,
that old story,
that old phantom
of boring phonies
that in our perceptions
we believed,
that in our minds
we perceived-
that we are less or we are more..
can't we finally remember
the truth that's stored?

We feel intimidated,
we feel afraid,
we feel small and insignificant,
we feel awfully shy
we feel betrayed.
But all the while
it's all within-
that dark filled story
that keeps us in,
that keeps our walls
protecting us whole-
but then again and again and again
we wake up realizing
we lost it all,
we lost the years
we lost much tears,
but can we now allow
what's false to disappear?

Can we draw upon our notions
that there comes a point in our lives
where we live in devotion-
Of nature and skies,
of prairies and laughs,
of animals that kindly help us get by,
and a spark of light that kindly lives inside.

There comes a point we let the story go-
yes, that story in the head eventually gets old.
It lives inside us like a monster
and tries to take over
and be preposterous,
but yes- there comes a point when we just dearly smile
and see the story as a fable full of bile-
-gross I know :)
we spit it out and send it away
and learn to again play with our dear beloved days.
Oh life of days you remind me to be-
the exact sunflower I was meant to be.

Everything that is not love eventually brings us to love!
Everyday more and more,
and
it doesn't matter if we have gone back and forth
again and again-
What do we choose now?

 

Flickering lights
in the night away
wondering the streets
while thinking of play.
Yet noone seems around
to merrily say-
Let this moment be love
and don't let love betray
our confused essence
that lies beneath a
pleasant sentence.

We try to be what
many times we are not
and then hide the truth
so we can be more
of what impresses the other,
but deep in our hearts we long to stay
real to the truth of who we truly are today,
we're finally glad to see the truth of who we are,
it truly feels good to be the real me by far.

I am not always the happy little one
who always has time to be there for someone else.
I am not always the kind generous soul
because sometimes I too get moody and low,
yet in life we are learning to get back on our feet-
learning to shine again,
learning to live life mercifully.

Before I would get discouraged if I felt sad again,
now I realize it
is nothing personal, its just something
that happens again and again.

Little by little, we are mastering all traits,
we are going beyond behaviors,
we are finding new ways.
Little by little we are catching the waves,
we are riding them gracefully
until they melt away.
Little by little we resist less the rain,
and start flourishing
and letting it be our friend.

Love is the answer, love that's within,
and then can we be real, and let the shine spark within.

Flickering lights
and all the while we thought noone was around,
but now we see it was never so.
That love inside- when open and proud,
is truly the connecting source of
happiness outloud.

And everything else is icing on the cake.

I've invited myself

I've invited myself to finally be real
I've invited myself to let go of stuff I held on for so long
Stuff of sorrow
Stuff of pain
Stuff of doubts
I was stuffed with bouts
of unhappiness,
Lots of sadness.
Misperceptions
and misdirection
Yet through all the pain
and given self blame
this ego swept
and with a clouded will I wept
until it no longer wished to be kept
alive and growing,
this suffering got tired of brewing
and so it became freed
as I now feel free,
as i now feel the breeze
through this night that feels like such ease
Ahhh such love in my heart
and I am glad this journey I have confronted and became part
of this growing experience,
What amazingness, i feel contingent
upon this dance i played
to learn what is not love and
eventually be able to appreciate
the way
of love and tenderness,
of grace and divine perfect-ness
Is that a word? It doesn't matter...
language is just language
it is the heart connected
that truly matters.
To be gentle with one another and pray
for all of us to return to the place where we can play
like a child and feel the freedom to be
in a place of singing quite happily.
In a place of loving
quite lovingly.
Everything that is not love eventually brings us to love, each and each given time more and more sweetly and lovingly.