Clarity begins when instead of being consumed by thought, awareness watches thought, it watches tension, it watches all, and never just mentions
how its sick of it, or frustrated of it,
it just watches, with compassion, it just watches, and the watcher inside knows, that the surface varies,
sometimes it snows..
sometimes life shatters,
sometimes life hurts,
sometimes life matters,
sometimes there's rain,
sometimes there's drought,
some habits are harsh,
some habits are like clouds,
that hides the dear old sun.
Life can feel like dust,
& we become dirty & lost,
for we become embedded in dirt
& no longer can see the crystal
in which we lie in,
we only hear pistols
& noise,
& society rage
& toys
& through our distractions & desires we entertain...
but after a while it gets old
for over and over we've seen the rain
& we've been washed out,
but suddenly we realize
we truly want out..
so we let catch our thoughts when our thoughts want to take over,
& we guide them gently just like a mother would do, don't bother...
feeding thoughts again & again you say, just hold it in your heart, while you wish to pray, or meditate, or just in stillness observe the wave of thoughts pass & go. Be a wise healer, learn how to train your mind & how to reach your soul, the wise one within & throughout all ways, the one who mercilessly sees,
with divine eyes,
with love, with ease.
its the 1 that kindly guides u when u do something that doesn't feel right. it's the 1 that guides u toward compassionate action.
its the 1 who reassures you that its all gonna be alright. its the light of wisdom when everything doesn't feel ok. its the 1 who believes in you when no1 else believes u on any given day. The soul is the spaciousness, that expansiveness of light, of warm loving feeling, its the highest place inside.

Oh my... In the thrill of all these experiences.. the good, the bad, the gentle, the harsh, and how nice when instead of judgement we observe, for that is what it feels like to me, perhaps if i was in other circumstances, instead of tightening, i'd be able to better breathe.. but I can't..
For some reason, some things that happen cause certain triggers and certain stress, when if it happened to another person, there may be no stress, no worry, no doubting, no stories..
Sometimes the thing that we dont like about the other is deep down inside of us. Sometimes the thing we dont like in another is what is the exact opposite of our personality, perhaps its the personality of our gruesome sibling??? or our parent that we still feel resentments towards, or that 5th grade teacher that called us " a procrastinator". But...
perhaps these pains, these triggers, these challenges, that lingers,
are exactly what we, deep down need, so that whatever we previously buried, can come out and breathe again, and become free, and become whole, with the air, as it is allowed to leave, to dissolve, to be free, into universe and space,
for all pain is meant to be is to remind us of what love isnt. and once we know what love isnt, knowing how to love is more possible. For everything that isnt love eventually brings us back, more and more, to this sacred precious gift of unconditional love. The kind of love that is never a doormat, but that gives wisely, that gives without the intent of what he or she is seeking in receiving. It is that love that it is kind, and humble, that it is honest, respectful, with a nurturing, but never co dependent for deep love knows that the master and student go hand in hand. They both go back & forth. One day 1 is teacher, The other day student. For we all learn from eachother, inspired, awakened.

Tonight on the way to the movies I saw two people on their wheelchair, one closely behind the other, as if the one behind was helping propell the person infront. It was such a thing I don't normally see. It was so touching. My heart felt the warmth of their bond. My heart felt the peace in their love. And I drove by, smiling thereon. Lovely things like this remind me of what life is. Life is sacred, it is precious, when spent in a profound heartful way, life is so blessed. But otherwise when were concerned about me me me, or you you you, so that you can make me happy, or money.. etc.. beyond and beyond these dreams of thoughts and things that are inevitably fleeting, within and in the midst of it is a glow of light. That lasts always. That lasts forever. That warmth. That love. That unconditional love. That hope. That trust. That knowing. That experience, when we feel the expansion within, when were not stuck in the mind. life situations are polarities of high & lows..good & bad.. there comes a point when were ready to go beyond, to presence, the now, is deeper than what happens in it.

neoprene brace

Neoprene brace that has loosed over years
but still he religiously wears it not even on his knees, for its now too big in size,
he wears it instead over his thighs,
but he wears it, something,
somewhere there may be a belief inside..
that it helps..
Habits we form, for 1 person-drinking alcohol is the norm, & for the other it is unimaginable why putting such substances in the body daily is done..
Its simply unnatural to some eating dead flesh after its suffered beyond the norms, its saddening & sick when I see slaughtered animals being beat with a stick, & chickens being tossed like a ball, up in the air, before landing in a truck. Dairy cows constantly being raped, depleted of all rights as their precious babies are taken away, so baby veal cows can stand w/o moving so they can become anemic, & die when there's hardly any circulation in the blood.. hence the term.. the white meat.
To some this is holocaust, 2 others this is what is right. Their bible even says it so... perhaps its all perception.
For when grandma & mama did it like that, we have cell memories that "this is right, that this is okay".
So when alcohol,stress, meat,or any overeating, over anything, like 2 much tv... manages our life, we may get stuck & find that the consequences dont feel so right.

I had knee pain once too & depended on my brace, i couldnt go anywhere w/o it, just like my friend now that i see everyday.
Until one day, w/bravery & faith, I started a new day w/a new kind of face, knowing i no longer needed that brace, that i can change any habits i face, & learn from what serves me, versus what makes me dependent, & eventually causing limitations. So i stopped eating meat because how my habits affect the world really matters to me, & now more & more I work on kindness to all, including me.

Listening to Eckhart.
People who try so hard
.. woonderful people that dedicate to helping others, after years
.. they experience burnout if they are just operating on level of object consciousness. there is a space outside the polarity of object consciousness. everything is already fine At This Moment.. allowing this moment to be as it is, and a space opens up around these events. at this moment may be a screaming human being accusing.. in tthe middle of turbulance, and finding inner alignment with the deeper dimension. and then ur free of dependence of the world of form, as if space consciousness were saying come home, because the spaciousness of the beingness is that. the kingdom of heaven. thoughts... are not that important. they want to be important. mental positions... we think theyre so important.." i think i still dont understand about space consciousness..

Minnie

Dear God, help me understand how a dog like Minnie is meant to have other plans..I know I know I can't have her forever.'She 's not gone yet, far from it, can u just enjoy her forever.. Cos even though she may be in another journey and sooner or later u both have to part, connect to her soul thats merry, and forever u shall both never be apart. I know its hard to deal with the fact, as cancer could be the word that separates u both, from this world existence, where u are human and she is dog. Oh she is far more than dog. I hope u can see that now.. and don't worry so much on whats best for her.. if ur mind is quiet enough, I shall guide u at every try. She does long to see dear Brownie, he is her love affair from
forever ago. He had the patience to withstand any and all behaviors, he's angelic, and he's still here helping her more than u know. So have faith, I know its hard, but u have no choice, u cant escape, live this,and go beyond the tragic heart that attaches so incredibly, and that doesnt know how to let her part. It'll just be the body, just the shell, whenever its meant to be,it wont be hell, and you'll feel the peace as she transcends to light and sun, her aura will brighten, her glow will move beyond. She will fully emerge with Brownie and they shall comfort you until ur well. This is okay, dont be so frightened, its not always about keeping the body longer and longer.. its about respecting their age, their purpose, and their will. Shes 13 and shes delighted just to sleep in ur same room. She doesnt want all the surgeries,and all the medicine that make her blue, she just wants u to connect w/her essence and be happy for what her plans are, with or without u. we all journey in this misty heartfilled life, we share with many, and so
etimes, we have to say goodbye.& that time is far from here.

It's 4AM and I am enjoying the freedom of yoga- stretching and unifying, strengthening, lengthening, relaxing, inticing to be at peace, to be at freedom within me. I feel such ease, such warthm, such peace. I spent some hours having sister bonding with such a heart friend, times like these are irreplaceable, truly special, truly supportive, truly kind. Im so blessed to have sisters that perhaps not by blood but truly by heart, and then again, what is blood? as family really aren't we all? Deep down we are all closer than we think, and especially when sharing with such special friends who become our family thru thick and thin. I go to sleep now while I listen to Eckhart Tolle, I have such blessed spirits, helping me awaken to such compassion and such depth, thank u God, and now I rest. Night night.