Thank you!

Thank you for checking out my blog!!!!

I love this blog, it is an opportunity to express my heart. And I so much appreciate you taking time from your daily life to receive what my heart writes, what my heart sings, what my heart feels, and what my heart wishes to share. It seems we all are going through such similar lessons, so may we all be each other's rock and strength in our transformation in this life. Bless you and love you! Naomi

Monday, August 22, 2011


Wonderful times
have wonderful rhymes
for all those wonderful laughs
reveal wonderful sunshine in our paths
and we write, we write it all..
down on paper..

In spite of all the things that go wrong,
there's so many things that go right.
So many friends that show us it's all alright.
So many fields, so many flowers,
so many years, so many memories
captured,
in the heart,
deep inside,
all those lovely ones
who spark such life,
in our minds
and help us become less stuck..

So many things come and go,
we get those who yell at us,
but they're just suffering.. I know..
Life is hard, a judgement here
a judgement there..
a threat to those who cannot even bear
to live this life, because it's hard..

But let us remind ourselves,
things do get old..
and wash away,
even thoughts,
they die after play..
It's all a play.
Impermanence is inevitable.

It is said
only essence lives on.
Our outer body dies and becomes dust along
a buried field of grass.
Our outer body can also be sprinkled after cremation
over the ocean's currents along with a prayer of reflection,
as our essence lives on.

This life force, does it even turn old,
or turn dead?
Many of us don't even know how to feel it, or
acknowledge if we're always in our head.

Many who have crossed over see that our light never dies,
it never sets.

So..

I prioritize today.

Everything and everything doesn't matter
as much as my time with my true nature inside that sways.
Can I allow my mind to still and allow myself to be free?

And the more I do makes its easier, it makes it easier to breathe.

I choose to feel that peace inside that never pushes me away.
It is gentle, it is kind, it is calm.
I feel it in my hand.

Its that pulsating feeling in my fingers, its so alive.
It's so alive.

I feel it in my feet, as if I were a tree deeply rooted to the earth..

I feel my legs and my arms filled with aliveness
and
the mind becomes more calm.

Then little by little,
I scan each part of me,
like my bottom,
my back,
my groin,
my abdomen,
my ribcage,
my chest,
my neck,
my face,
my scalp,
my head...
everywhere in my body I feel more space, with each breath.
And then no longer am I the thoughts or the emotions stuck inside..
I allow everything to pass..
I come back...
I am light.

I have stilled the mind and allow myself to be free.
I breathe.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Day off
Yet dispersed
One moment the TV is on
And one moment I thirst.

Yet the wandering mind comes and goes
It finds distractions
It’s all a show

And then I stop
I take it in
I take a breath
And with surrender, I give in.

The aliveness within
Is felt a little more and more.

It just takes connection
Divine reflection
A subtle notice
A subtle sound
From deep within
That says, “Stop somehow”

I used to get mad
When I’d ruin a perfect day
But not today,
I just catch whatever tendency
And know its okay
When I come back to a quiet place
Of deep peace within
That really truly feels this sacred day.

For it’s no longer what I do
That makes me happy-
But the peace and love in which I do it in.

I can catch it at any time,
After hours of mind struggle
Or after a sad honest cry,
I can catch any emotions or tensions
That are bottled up inside,
Or fears and misdirected perceptions
That are forcing this moment to become dry
And tasteless.

I rather connect to whatever pain within and kindly face it.
And as every wind is faced by the sun,
The sun showers the wind with light,
And the wind showers the sun,
with love.

It’s all a dance, this life, this love,
This strife, these doves that fly up in the air,
And remind us, with their grace,
That we too can fly, with freedom,
Once we drop the heaviness that no longer
Serves us

Anywhere

Anywhere we go,
Anyone we see
Can tell if we are carrying years of distress
And disease.
Sure we completely fool each other and act it out.

We pretend we are all happy,
Because our car is shiny,
We think that’s all they notice
It’s all about standing out.

But true happiness within
Is when the captain is not the mind,
But the inner endless wisdom that when I am
Quiet and still, can guide me deep inside.
I feel such bliss
I feel so light
I feel every single cell within me
Electrified with aliveness, and with peace.

I can use my mind when and how I want,
But I am no longer controlled by it
Each and every day of my life.


I don’t have to be doing anything special
For me to feel this hue.
This hue of colors, that like a rainbow
Bring me back to truth.
This love, which is felt within
And throughout me.

Oneness.







Saturday, June 18, 2011

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Tonight is full moon, as they say... and as I look up, it all looks grey.
And then I look more, I continue looking,
and I see a hidden moon inside a willowing night, and even though its hiding, if I look really close, it still shines quite bright.

It reminds me of life, as sometimes things can appear quite dim.
Yet all of form, all of things, eventually helps us look closer within.

And then we become more free,
and see our destiny infront of our eyes, and life doesnt pass us by anymore,
and everything life gives us becomes a heavenly surprise,
we even get to love those days that seem quite dim,
we get to appreciate it all, because we connect beyond the perishable, we connect beyond what's perishable.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Ocean of life, help me dispel life's grief. Help me conform with life's mountains, whether big or small, or curvy, or narrow. Help me lord to see all that is as beautiful, for it is. How else can roses be so sweet and enchanting without the garbage that thru composting helps make the flower what it is. Darkness helps us see light, how else can the stars look so bright at night. Ohh there are storms and there are days where everything is clear, clear as day. Nothing ever stays as it it, it is all interchangeable, one day its up, another down, another high, another low, one day healthy, another day stroke, another day young, and inevitably another day old, one day confident, another day completely insecure, another day happy, and another so so sad. How can we be at the mercy of life situations for they are so crazily interchangeable, no real warranties in life, eventually it is all perishable, it will all die. But its okay, its alright, for when the windows are open in our hearts and soul, we feel more alice, we become connected, to what is profoundly within, that which is always steady and directed, at life's blissful moment of now, for really, what else is more important than this moment. And now carries this aliveness, they face the sun, they don't run away. They don't for the future, for their blessings, they feel it, its okay. And they bloom until they no longer do, as all leaves do also, they stay on the tree until its no longer meant to be, and gracefully they fly down, and softly touch the ground, and begin to become fertilizer, for a newly found flower to be born, into day. THERE'S AN ACCEPTANCE, CAN WE TOO ACCEPT THIS MOMENT, THIS DAY? And do whatever our heart wishes to do, with love in the background, with love, and deep truth.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Life awaits or does it?
Life is here, now, whether we connect to it now, or we don't.. its here. at this moment, full of breeze, light and sun, the ease of nature flowing like the branches and the trees filled with leaves and rain that drops but never stains.
rain gushes down during the storm, and then leaves little puddles so that birds can later bathe when its warm.
shadows fill an empty night, but lots of stars light up the scary tide-it's no longer is frightening. The moon is bright, the stars shiny and it looks like glitter, painted across the sky, as if it was a magical deliverance, from God, who swept the whole ground, ocean, and sky and filled it with lots of goodies and surprise... we're all here, and even though sometimes life carries struggles, lots of mind stuff, lots of hurdles..
lots of noise, lots of screams, lots of thoughts and beliefs, lots
s of weird dreams..
But them amongst another hurried day, the soul gets tired of all the drama it played. So it finds solace in knowing it can come back home. The soul is ready to come back home.

A Garden For Daily Living

Plant 3 rows of peas:
Peace of Mind
Peace of Heart
Peace of Soul

Plant Four Rows of Squash:
Squash Gossip
Squash Indifference
Squash Grumbling
Squash Selfishness

Plant 4 rows of lettuce:
Let us be faithful
Let us be kind
Let us be happy
Let us really Love oneanother

No garden should be without turnips:
Turn up for service when needed
Turn to help oneanother
Turn up the music and dance

Water Freely with Patience and cultivate
with Love.
There is much fruit in your Garden-
You reap what you sow.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Very old man with Enormous Wings

A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings: A Tale For Children 
(Please check out song by REM "Losing my Religion" which is dedicated to this story, of how this dear old angel experienced life here on earth with "mortals".)

Gabriel Garcia Marquez



          On the third day of rain they had killed so many crabs inside the house that Pelayo had to cross his drenched courtyard and throw them into the sea, because the newborn child had a temperature all night and they thought it was due to the stench. The world had been sad since Tuesday. Sea and sky were a single ash-gray thing and the sands of the beach, which on March nights glimmered like powdered light, had become a stew of mud and rotten shellfish. The light was so weak at noon that when Pelayo was coming back to the house after throwing away the crabs, it was hard for him to see what it was that was moving and groaning in the rear of the courtyard. He had to go very close to see that it was an old man, a very old man, lying face down in the mud, who, in spite of his tremendous efforts, couldn't get up, impeded by his enormous wings.

          Frightened by that nightmare, Pelayo ran to get Elisenda, his wife, who was putting compresses on the sick child, and he took her to the rear of the courtyard. They both looked at the fallen body with a mute stupor. He was dressed like a ragpicker. There were only a few faded hairs left on his bald skull and very few teeth in his mouth, and his pitiful condition of a drenched great-grandfather took away and sense of grandeur he might have had. His huge buzzard wings, dirty and half-plucked were forever entangled in the mud. They looked at him so long and so closely that Pelayo and Elisenda very soon overcame their surprise and in the end found him familiar. Then they dared speak to him, and he answered in an incomprehensible dialect with a strong sailor's voice. That was how they skipped over the inconvenience of the wings and quite intelligently concluded that he was a lonely castaway from some foreign ship wrecked by the storm. And yet, they called in a neighbor woman who knew everything about life and death to see him, and all she needed was one look to show them their mistake.

          "He's an angel," she told them. "He must have been coming for the child, but the poor fellow is so old that the rain knocked him down."

          On the following day everyone knew that a flesh-and-blood angel was held captive in Pelayo's house. Against the judgment of the wise neighbor woman, for whom angels in those times were the fugitive survivors of a spiritual conspiracy, they did not have the heart to club him to death. Pelayo watched over him all afternoon from the kitchen, armed with his bailiff's club, and before going to bed he dragged him out of the mud and locked him up with the hens in the wire chicken coop. In the middle of the night, when the rain stopped, Pelayo and Elisenda were still killing crabs. A short time afterward the child woke up without a fever and with a desire to eat. Then they felt magnanimous and decided to put the angel on a raft with fresh water and provisions for three days and leave him to his fate on the high seas. But when they went out into the courtyard with the first light of dawn, they found the whole neighborhood in front of the chicken coop having fun with the angel, without the slightest reverence, tossing him things to eat through the openings in the wire as if weren't a supernatural creature but a circus animal.

          Father Gonzaga arrived before seven o'clock, alarmed at the strange news. By that time onlookers less frivolous than those at dawn had already arrived and they were making all kinds of conjectures concerning the captive's future. The simplest among them thought that he should be named mayor of the world. Others of sterner mind felt that he should be promoted to the rank of five-star general in order to win all wars. Some visionaries hoped that he could be put to stud in order to implant the earth a race of winged wise men who could take charge of the universe. But Father Gonzaga, before becoming a priest, had been a robust woodcutter. Standing by the wire, he reviewed his catechism in an instant and asked them to open the door so that he could take a close look at that pitiful man who looked more like a huge decrepit hen among the fascinated chickens. He was lying in the corner drying his open wings in the sunlight among the fruit peels and breakfast leftovers that the early risers had thrown him. Alien to the impertinences of the world, he only lifted his antiquarian eyes and murmured something in his dialect when Father Gonzaga went into the chicken coop and said good morning to him in Latin. The parish priest had his first suspicion of an imposter when he saw that he did not understand the language of God or know how to greet His ministers. Then he noticed that seen close up he was much too human: he had an unbearable smell of the outdoors, the back side of his wings was strewn with parasites and his main feathers had been mistreated by terrestrial winds, and nothing about him measured up to the proud dignity of angels. The he came out of the chicken coop and in a brief sermon warned the curious against the risks of being ingenuous. He reminded them that the devil had the bad habit of making use of carnival tricks in order to confuse the unwary. He argued that if wings were not the essential element in determining the different between a hawk and an airplane, they were even less so in the recognition of angels. Nevertheless, he promised to write a letter to his bishop so that the latter would write his primate so that the latter would write to the Supreme Pontiff in order to get the final verdict from the highest courts.

          His prudence fell on sterile hearts. The news of the captive angel spread with such rapidity that after a few hours the courtyard had the bustle of a marketplace and they had to call in troops with fixed bayonets to disperse the mob that was about to knock the house down. Elisenda, her spine all twisted from sweeping up so much marketplace trash, then got the idea of fencing in the yard and charging five cents admission to see the angel.

          The curious came from far away. A traveling carnival arrived with a flying acrobat who buzzed over the crowd several times, but no one paid any attention to him because his wings were not those of an angel but, rather, those of a sidereal bat. The most unfortunate invalids on earth came in search of health: a poor woman who since childhood has been counting her heartbeats and had run out of numbers; a Portuguese man who couldn't sleep because the noise of the stars disturbed him; a sleepwalker who got up at night to undo the things he had done while awake; and many others with less serious ailments. In the midst of that shipwreck disorder that made the earth tremble, Pelayo and Elisenda were happy with fatigue, for in less than a week they had crammed their rooms with money and the line of pilgrims waiting their turn to enter still reached beyond the horizon.

          The angel was the only one who took no part in his own act. He spent his time trying to get comfortable in his borrowed nest, befuddled by the hellish heat of the oil lamps and sacramental candles that had been placed along the wire. At first they tried to make him eat some mothballs, which, according to the wisdom of the wise neighbor woman, were the food prescribed for angels. But he turned them down, just as he turned down the papal lunches that the pentinents brought him, and they never found out whether it was because he was an angel or because he was an old man that in the end ate nothing but eggplant mush. His only supernatural virtue seemed to be patience. Especially during the first days, when the hens pecked at him, searching for the stellar parasites that proliferated in his wings, and the cripples pulled out feathers to touch their defective parts with, and even the most merciful threw stones at him, trying to get him to rise so they could see him standing. The only time they succeeded in arousing him was when they burned his side with an iron for branding steers, for he had been motionless for so many hours that they thought he was dead. He awoke with a start, ranting in his hermetic language and with tears in his eyes, and he flapped his wings a couple of times, which brought on a whirlwind of chicken dung and lunar dust and a gale of panic that did not seem to be of this world. Although many thought that his reaction had not been one of rage but of pain, from then on they were careful not to annoy him, because the majority understood that his passivity was not that of a her taking his ease but that of a cataclysm in repose.

          Father Gonzaga held back the crowd's frivolity with formulas of maidservant inspiration while awaiting the arrival of a final judgment on the nature of the captive. But the mail from Rome showed no sense of urgency. They spent their time finding out in the prisoner had a navel, if his dialect had any connection with Aramaic, how many times he could fit on the head of a pin, or whether he wasn't just a Norwegian with wings. Those meager letters might have come and gone until the end of time if a providential event had not put and end to the priest's tribulations.

          It so happened that during those days, among so many other carnival attractions, there arrived in the town the traveling show of the woman who had been changed into a spider for having disobeyed her parents. The admission to see her was not only less than the admission to see the angel, but people were permitted to ask her all manner of questions about her absurd state and to examine her up and down so that no one would ever doubt the truth of her horror. She was a frightful tarantula the size of a ram and with the head of a sad maiden. What was most heartrending, however, was not her outlandish shape but the sincere affliction with which she recounted the details of her misfortune. While still practically a child she had sneaked out of her parents' house to go to a dance, and while she was coming back through the woods after having danced all night without permission, a fearful thunderclap rent the sky in tow and through the crack came the lightning bolt of brimstone that changed her into a spider. Her only nourishment came from the meatballs that charitable souls chose to toss into her mouth. A spectacle like that, full of so much human truth and with such a fearful lesson, was bound to defeat without even trying that of a haughty angel who scarcely deigned to look at mortals. Besides, the few miracles attributed to the angel showed a certain mental disorder, like the blind man who didn't recover his sight but grew three new teeth, or the paralytic who didn't get to walk but almost won the lottery, and the leper whose sores sprouted sunflowers. Those consolation miracles, which were more like mocking fun, had already ruined the angel's reputation when the woman who had been changed into a spider finally crushed him completely. That was how Father Gonzaga was cured forever of his insomnia and Pelayo's courtyard went back to being as empty as during the time it had rained for three days and crabs walked through the bedrooms.

          The owners of the house had no reason to lament. With the money they saved they built a two-story mansion with balconies and gardens and high netting so that crabs wouldn't get in during the winter, and with iron bars on the windows so that angels wouldn't get in. Pelayo also set up a rabbit warren close to town and have up his job as a bailiff for good, and Elisenda bought some satin pumps with high heels and many dresses of iridescent silk, the kind worn on Sunday by the most desirable women in those times. The chicken coop was the only thing that didn't receive any attention. If they washed it down with creolin and burned tears of myrrh inside it every so often, it was not in homage to the angel but to drive away the dungheap stench that still hung everywhere like a ghost and was turning the new house into an old one. At first, when the child learned to walk, they were careful that he not get too close to the chicken coop. But then they began to lose their fears and got used to the smell, and before they child got his second teeth he'd gone inside the chicken coop to play, where the wires were falling apart. The angel was no less standoffish with him than with the other mortals, but he tolerated the most ingenious infamies with the patience of a dog who had no illusions. They both came down with the chicken pox at the same time. The doctor who took care of the child couldn't resist the temptation to listen to the angel's heart, and he found so much whistling in the heart and so many sounds in his kidneys that it seemed impossible for him to be alive. What surprised him most, however, was the logic of his wings. They seemed so natural on that completely human organism that he couldn't understand why other men didn't have them too.

          When the child began school it had been some time since the sun and rain had caused the collapse of the chicken coop. The angel went dragging himself about here and there like a stray dying man. They would drive him out of the bedroom with a broom and a moment later find him in the kitchen. He seemed to be in so many places at the same time that they grew to think that he'd be duplicated, that he was reproducing himself all through the house, and the exasperated and unhinged Elisenda shouted that it was awful living in that hell full of angels. He could scarcely eat and his antiquarian eyes had also become so foggy that he went about bumping into posts. All he had left were the bare cannulae of his last feathers. Pelayo threw a blanket over him and extended him the charity of letting him sleep in the shed, and only then did they notice that he had a temperature at night, and was delirious with the tongue twisters of an old Norwegian. That was one of the few times they became alarmed, for they thought he was going to die and not even the wise neighbor woman had been able to tell them what to do with dead angels.

          And yet he not only survived his worst winter, but seemed improved with the first sunny days. He remained motionless for several days in the farthest corner of the courtyard, where no one would see him, and at the beginning of December some large, stiff feathers began to grow on his wings, the feathers of a scarecrow, which looked more like another misfortune of decreptitude. But he must have known the reason for those changes, for he was quite careful that no one should notice them, that no one should hear the sea chanteys that he sometimes sang under the stars. One morning Elisenda was cutting some bunches of onions for lunch when a wind that seemed to come from the high seas blew into the kitchen. Then she went to the window and caught the angel in his first attempts at flight. They were so clumsy that his fingernails opened a furrow in the vegetable patch and he was on the point of knocking the shed down with the ungainly flapping that slipped on the light and couldn't get a grip on the air. But he did manage to gain altitude. Elisenda let out a sigh of relief, for herself and for him, when she watched him pass over the last houses, holding himself up in some way with the risky flapping of a senile vulture. She kept watching him even when she was through cutting the onions and she kept on watching until it was no longer possible for her to see him, because then he was no longer an annoyance in her life but an imaginary dot on the horizon of the sea. 

Monday, April 18, 2011

Nature helps when the heart is weeping.
Cats help when all they know is love,
because all they shared at home is love,
and when they see our heart spent..
and when they see we are aching and bent
up from all the troubles we are carrying,
they stay really near,
and we feel their vibration of love they are carrying.
I feel the vibration of ¤ love ¤ thru my feet as dear angel sugar rests at the foot of the bed touching my feet.
and Button and his wise heart sits tall infront of me, and as I place my hands infront of him ¤ they shine ¤, I feel his essence and he feels mine.
Nature sings with all its glory. The birds sing songs that slow down the hurried, well at least some of them that can even hear the sweet sounds of nature, the sweet smells of spring. Is it really spring? I don't even know, life can seem like a whirlwind when drama takes over like gushing snow.
But as we catch the drama and watch it head on, and understand it, and have compassion for it, that love..
that patience..
that feeling that's complacent,
that feeling in seeing pain as a child that's crying for it needs so badly to be loved, or fear from past experiences that needs to feel safe and just needs a hug or two.
I give my pain that dimension of kindness, and peace, and love, and attention. I let it be there, I hold it in my heart. I comfort it, I send it acceptance..what better than that. I also feel the aliveness within, like in my hands, and then little by little the expansiveness of light is felt through my arms, my feet, my legs, my back, my stomach, my chest, my face, my head, and everywhere just like that. and then the surface of pain melts away because I've connected to the light within. The sun melts the thickened ice into shiny sparks of water that melt as it glows. And we too glow.

Friday, April 15, 2011

I was at a vegetarian Jamaican hangout sorta restaurant take out tonight to get some food for my Minnie and me and they ran out of tofu and ackee. Oh i was bummed out. I begged them to have this delicious ackee and tofu available more times a week, not just Fridays, or at least make a lot so they dont run out. Last Friday I got the last portion of tofu and ackee, and the man next in line had to order something else. He was bummed out.. just Like I was today. Then a man sitting at a table said "u know i got the last portion of ackee this time, and not you" and we both laughed for then I realized he was the same man from last week.
Later while I was waiting for my food to arrive, I overheard him and another man talking the guy talk.. He said " I love women... I think of them everyday.. I just love women..."
and as I left the place, the smile in my face carried forward.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Clarity begins when instead of being consumed by thought, awareness watches thought, it watches tension, it watches all, and never just mentions
how its sick of it, or frustrated of it,
it just watches, with compassion, it just watches, and the watcher inside knows, that the surface varies,
sometimes it snows..
sometimes life shatters,
sometimes life hurts,
sometimes life matters,
sometimes there's rain,
sometimes there's drought,
some habits are harsh,
some habits are like clouds,
that hides the dear old sun.
Life can feel like dust,
& we become dirty & lost,
for we become embedded in dirt
& no longer can see the crystal
in which we lie in,
we only hear pistols
& noise,
& society rage
& toys
& through our distractions & desires we entertain...
but after a while it gets old
for over and over we've seen the rain
& we've been washed out,
but suddenly we realize
we truly want out..
so we let catch our thoughts when our thoughts want to take over,
& we guide them gently just like a mother would do, don't bother...
feeding thoughts again & again you say, just hold it in your heart, while you wish to pray, or meditate, or just in stillness observe the wave of thoughts pass & go. Be a wise healer, learn how to train your mind & how to reach your soul, the wise one within & throughout all ways, the one who mercilessly sees,
with divine eyes,
with love, with ease.
its the 1 that kindly guides u when u do something that doesn't feel right. it's the 1 that guides u toward compassionate action.
its the 1 who reassures you that its all gonna be alright. its the light of wisdom when everything doesn't feel ok. its the 1 who believes in you when no1 else believes u on any given day. The soul is the spaciousness, that expansiveness of light, of warm loving feeling, its the highest place inside.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Oh my... In the thrill of all these experiences.. the good, the bad, the gentle, the harsh, and how nice when instead of judgement we observe, for that is what it feels like to me, perhaps if i was in other circumstances, instead of tightening, i'd be able to better breathe.. but I can't..
For some reason, some things that happen cause certain triggers and certain stress, when if it happened to another person, there may be no stress, no worry, no doubting, no stories..
Sometimes the thing that we dont like about the other is deep down inside of us. Sometimes the thing we dont like in another is what is the exact opposite of our personality, perhaps its the personality of our gruesome sibling??? or our parent that we still feel resentments towards, or that 5th grade teacher that called us " a procrastinator". But...
perhaps these pains, these triggers, these challenges, that lingers,
are exactly what we, deep down need, so that whatever we previously buried, can come out and breathe again, and become free, and become whole, with the air, as it is allowed to leave, to dissolve, to be free, into universe and space,
for all pain is meant to be is to remind us of what love isnt. and once we know what love isnt, knowing how to love is more possible. For everything that isnt love eventually brings us back, more and more, to this sacred precious gift of unconditional love. The kind of love that is never a doormat, but that gives wisely, that gives without the intent of what he or she is seeking in receiving. It is that love that it is kind, and humble, that it is honest, respectful, with a nurturing, but never co dependent for deep love knows that the master and student go hand in hand. They both go back & forth. One day 1 is teacher, The other day student. For we all learn from eachother, inspired, awakened.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Tonight on the way to the movies I saw two people on their wheelchair, one closely behind the other, as if the one behind was helping propell the person infront. It was such a thing I don't normally see. It was so touching. My heart felt the warmth of their bond. My heart felt the peace in their love. And I drove by, smiling thereon. Lovely things like this remind me of what life is. Life is sacred, it is precious, when spent in a profound heartful way, life is so blessed. But otherwise when were concerned about me me me, or you you you, so that you can make me happy, or money.. etc.. beyond and beyond these dreams of thoughts and things that are inevitably fleeting, within and in the midst of it is a glow of light. That lasts always. That lasts forever. That warmth. That love. That unconditional love. That hope. That trust. That knowing. That experience, when we feel the expansion within, when were not stuck in the mind. life situations are polarities of high & lows..good & bad.. there comes a point when were ready to go beyond, to presence, the now, is deeper than what happens in it.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

neoprene brace

Neoprene brace that has loosed over years
but still he religiously wears it not even on his knees, for its now too big in size,
he wears it instead over his thighs,
but he wears it, something,
somewhere there may be a belief inside..
that it helps..
Habits we form, for 1 person-drinking alcohol is the norm, & for the other it is unimaginable why putting such substances in the body daily is done..
Its simply unnatural to some eating dead flesh after its suffered beyond the norms, its saddening & sick when I see slaughtered animals being beat with a stick, & chickens being tossed like a ball, up in the air, before landing in a truck. Dairy cows constantly being raped, depleted of all rights as their precious babies are taken away, so baby veal cows can stand w/o moving so they can become anemic, & die when there's hardly any circulation in the blood.. hence the term.. the white meat.
To some this is holocaust, 2 others this is what is right. Their bible even says it so... perhaps its all perception.
For when grandma & mama did it like that, we have cell memories that "this is right, that this is okay".
So when alcohol,stress, meat,or any overeating, over anything, like 2 much tv... manages our life, we may get stuck & find that the consequences dont feel so right.

I had knee pain once too & depended on my brace, i couldnt go anywhere w/o it, just like my friend now that i see everyday.
Until one day, w/bravery & faith, I started a new day w/a new kind of face, knowing i no longer needed that brace, that i can change any habits i face, & learn from what serves me, versus what makes me dependent, & eventually causing limitations. So i stopped eating meat because how my habits affect the world really matters to me, & now more & more I work on kindness to all, including me.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Listening to Eckhart.
People who try so hard
.. woonderful people that dedicate to helping others, after years
.. they experience burnout if they are just operating on level of object consciousness. there is a space outside the polarity of object consciousness. everything is already fine At This Moment.. allowing this moment to be as it is, and a space opens up around these events. at this moment may be a screaming human being accusing.. in tthe middle of turbulance, and finding inner alignment with the deeper dimension. and then ur free of dependence of the world of form, as if space consciousness were saying come home, because the spaciousness of the beingness is that. the kingdom of heaven. thoughts... are not that important. they want to be important. mental positions... we think theyre so important.." i think i still dont understand about space consciousness..

Friday, February 11, 2011

Minnie

Dear God, help me understand how a dog like Minnie is meant to have other plans..I know I know I can't have her forever.'She 's not gone yet, far from it, can u just enjoy her forever.. Cos even though she may be in another journey and sooner or later u both have to part, connect to her soul thats merry, and forever u shall both never be apart. I know its hard to deal with the fact, as cancer could be the word that separates u both, from this world existence, where u are human and she is dog. Oh she is far more than dog. I hope u can see that now.. and don't worry so much on whats best for her.. if ur mind is quiet enough, I shall guide u at every try. She does long to see dear Brownie, he is her love affair from
forever ago. He had the patience to withstand any and all behaviors, he's angelic, and he's still here helping her more than u know. So have faith, I know its hard, but u have no choice, u cant escape, live this,and go beyond the tragic heart that attaches so incredibly, and that doesnt know how to let her part. It'll just be the body, just the shell, whenever its meant to be,it wont be hell, and you'll feel the peace as she transcends to light and sun, her aura will brighten, her glow will move beyond. She will fully emerge with Brownie and they shall comfort you until ur well. This is okay, dont be so frightened, its not always about keeping the body longer and longer.. its about respecting their age, their purpose, and their will. Shes 13 and shes delighted just to sleep in ur same room. She doesnt want all the surgeries,and all the medicine that make her blue, she just wants u to connect w/her essence and be happy for what her plans are, with or without u. we all journey in this misty heartfilled life, we share with many, and so
etimes, we have to say goodbye.& that time is far from here.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

It's 4AM and I am enjoying the freedom of yoga- stretching and unifying, strengthening, lengthening, relaxing, inticing to be at peace, to be at freedom within me. I feel such ease, such warthm, such peace. I spent some hours having sister bonding with such a heart friend, times like these are irreplaceable, truly special, truly supportive, truly kind. Im so blessed to have sisters that perhaps not by blood but truly by heart, and then again, what is blood? as family really aren't we all? Deep down we are all closer than we think, and especially when sharing with such special friends who become our family thru thick and thin. I go to sleep now while I listen to Eckhart Tolle, I have such blessed spirits, helping me awaken to such compassion and such depth, thank u God, and now I rest. Night night.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Listening to this moment carries such depth and peace. The birds are filling the scenes with glorious music and orchestra. The breeze is cool. My sweet cat is sleeping and I see him breathing with ease. My orchid flower is still so vibrant and alive. My plants are shiny green. I feel my heart. I feel my feet planted on the floor. I see a picture of Brownie, the most amazing heart and soul in a dog's body that now is without that body.. How deep is my love for Brownie words can't describe..
I sense joy in the sunlight. I sense peace. I sense peace.

Monday, January 24, 2011

"Do I love u because ur beautiful or are u beautiful because I love u. "

Watching the movie Cinderella tonight. Loved how the prince said this to Cinderella the night of the ball.

whadda u do when...

Whadda u do when one of ur best friends tells u she has to have brain surgery because of a lesion, whadda u do?
Whadda u do when ur heart aches because of all the torment she's going thru, whadda u do?

Whadda u do when Cinderella's on TV and she's blue, but she still keeps a dream and sees it through..
She goes beyond the mean words and disgrace, and the slavery and the face
she sees in herself- the face thru the veils of harshness her family brainwashed her with.

Whadda u do when fiction and reality all live together, but only 1 reality does live forever.

Whadda u do when death is seen everyday. When yesterday at work, I opened the door to a man -with a stretcher- from the morgue, and a family in the hallway crying outloud because they lost their young child, whadda u do?

Compassion, understanding, love that's neverending, sweetness in the eyes, and a vision that sees deep inside, deep within the layers of pain, straight to the light within it all.

Within it all there is beauty, that lasts past the temporary skin, and what materialism brings..

The soul inside
forever lives in light,
and sees past it all.

Vices of many fill this life, but perhaps thru its challenges and strife, it helps us finally come back home. When we went beyond the pride, and became tired of the blame and the suffering of it all..its when we are just deeply ready to just come back home. We can always come back home.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

God gives us what we need not what we want sometimes
if we can be at peace with that
we got it covered.
if we can change it change it or leave
but if not can we accept it and
stay in ease?
child of love
forgive yourself for anything youve done
you are more than merely what you have done
see it as everyday experiences
that guide you to what no longer serve your true self.
the only way by knowing what doesnt serve us anymore is by experiencing it,
boldly in our own lives or seeing it in another..
and i know. we told ourselves over and over again,
to not eat too late, or watch tv until late,
no wonder i wake up moody and angry at myself,
ive done this far too many times to know better but.....
do u see how you self punish yourself thru your words,
actions that arent even a big deal and u already putting urself on that cross.

can u give urself a break?
know that ur human,
just learn from it and promise urself
that ull try next time to sleep earlier,
to eat earlier, and definitely watch tv earlier..
especially tv can fill your mind with great unease,
its easy to pick up energies from those we see, that scream, and shout, and seem to get so furious..
and were just watching them on tv and soaking it all in and then hours later were also feeling all those feelings..
and stricken with tension..
we have to come back to ourselves
for deep introspection, and not let ourselves be carried away with the angry mind that punishes today.
catch it. catch it now.
stop and watch the tension
and send it love,
tension is like your lost suffering friend who needs a hug and some reassuring.
let it know u are there to help
and be neutral and understanding.
also feel the aliveness throughout your body at whole, down from your feet, up to your head... thats all.. just stop, watch, and breathe, and recycle..
this body has amazing capability of recycling,
like a wave, comes n goes,
also let whatever comes in, pass, and go.
love urself for not what happens,
give urself a chance
its never too late..
this is what life i

Friday, January 21, 2011

owls and crocodiles

owls and crocodiles
sunflowers
and shiny armours
over a caterpillar's chest
no way better to look at nature's best

vegetable stew at dinner after a walk at the park..
wondering why my arms are so weak
after my workout.. what a week..
what a day..
its nice when we can share a smile and play..
with the dog
with our friends
life is short
but then again it never ends..

perhaps this body will shed and die sometime
as these bricks and stones may too dissolve to dust.
but the everescent life in a flower after the flower..
still dwells in life..
can we feel it?
or are we too busy in our minds?

its neat when we can use this recycling machine, and let out what we let in.
and as we clean it layer by layer
everything becomes clearer
everything becomes more transparent

and soon without trying
everything has a different face
everything becomes loving
because we see the lovingness within any and all acts.

people are lost sometimes and consumed by suffering
it can be so sad to watch and even
at times confusing
but let us not only focus on what is bad
for there is a glow of oneness within everyone,
and that's that
as i experience it.

and when a lost soul sees eyes of love regardless of whatever he has caused,
he too may finally for once feel accepted,and thru that love, which he probably never felt before,
will flower a transformation,
and love
may be the main ingredient from then on,
or not the,
may be it may take more time.
but a seed of kindness has been shared
for all ways
and perhaps it may be continued to be shared,
can we share it today?
we may not realize the power in our hug, in our smile, in our love..
until we see beyond
but regardless..
can we be true?
and love beyond most means?
all else that is not love eventually brings us back to the essence o

salutation to the moon

salutation to the moon
so bright
u amplify
life.
u strike the very chord in me
and as i see you i see me.

we are all reflections of eachother.
we are all mirror images of oneanother.
sometimes we hate to admit
that the weaknessess in him
we feel sometimes also..
until the honest heart
sheds an honest cry,
and eventually an honest laugh
and by this we awaken our path..
we transform
we transcend
we surpass
to no end
and slowly the layers slough off more and more until all is left is the crystal inside that remains warm.

and then we see within ourselves the same way as we see the moon
bright
transparent
loving
and forever
in bloom

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Milarepa

The Life of Milarepa
A man who most would think would have no hope, no dreams, no life, no progress, no thought that there could ever be any hope, that he would get better.. How insane to participate in the killing of so many people, when they were flesh and blood, how could anyone ever think of performing such treason, is there any reason to ever trust in someone like this again? How could anyone? Most would defend..
Yet Milarepa showed the world what he could..
At first there was such guilt, without disguise.. He cursed his name, a thousand times..
He resisted healing from gurus around... He suffered so much, but through leaps and bounds.. he kept on going, finding that within all that masterpiece of pain, there was some glory, and some sweetness and depth.. he realized this is all we have that's left, beyond the multiple of layers, of skin, and mind, and bones, and feathers..

That we all have oneness and have it now.
That we all have the ability to reach it somehow.
But all the layers he faced and how..
All the guilt and blame and frowns..
All the hatred his family stored..
All the anger and attachment of it more and more..
He had to face all those layers,
face them straight on, face them each time they faced him.
And at times it was difficult to see..
All the layers screaming deep within..

But deep in the heart he knew it wasn't personal.
That all of us souls go through timeless dimensions..
We may do things that are horrible and that we regret,
but may we realize we don't have to be prisoners forever
of the things we fetched..

At times in plain anger we create such wars,
we create such struggles,
of selfish roars...

But we can go beyond anything we can.
Even if its tremendous, just like this man.
He faced what he did and he was so sorry..
But he went

Rain

Rain
Magnified 1000 times
Stronger than rocks hitting the face,
stronger than thoughts that are harsh,
stronger than an ox running wild and into
only 1 direction..
this way..

I know it seems like life can be a vivid bad dream
sometimes
where all is lost within that circle
and all feels clouded
all feels circled.
All may feel tense, strong, and blurry,
we try so hard to get rid of it,
in a hurry..
because we can't take it anymore..

But it's just a cloud, no less, no more..
It is not who we are
But what we do can come from an inner light
or this human pain that's trully
as overwhelming can be..

I felt it deep when a dear friend of mine
vented about his misery..
and then I spoke to his wife and
listened to her version..
All pain in hidden eyes,
with its own perceived
perception..

It's so sad when trust is lost
and all that's left is a faded love
but 2 dear hearts
come back to play when
all is left is the essence
that stays,
beyond the years,
beyond this life,
beyond these struggles,
beyond the strife..

It's crazy how one can act
when anger is attached to the heart..
Years of building and love
that's yielding can come to a full stop
blow
by an act of anger that hits like snow.

And it can take years rebuilding
what an act from ego caused-
it's bewildering to the heart,
I send them both all my love and my heart.
I send them both all my wishes
to see beyond the mind's sad existence.

And perhaps through time and space and faith,
Life can repair what broke from days
long and long and long ago..
Let's give a chance to
what is beyond the show.

Perhaps we all have to not be in order to now be
what we were not before..
Does that make sense?
Sometimes I feel like there's no pretense..
Dear God, help me put it lightly..
"Feel within, feel within the layers that mask
your cheery soul,
deep down, there's nothing to mourn..
for all is meant to be a game,
to help you come back,
to help you return.
To love."

full moon

On this night
where the full moon shines bright
all emotions are out there
emerging everywhere..
But its okay, because maybe in the next day
or two
can be of use
to face the stressors
that in the past we used.

Forgive him my mom says
and hang out with him
you should be friends...

Is it enough that I'm neutral about it and wish him well or do i have to hang out with him when our past was hell..
noone asked him to treat me so mean when I was young,
or take his anger on me because he was mad.

Perhaps it still hurts,
perhaps deep down it does..
perhaps I lack trust..
perhaps i lack love..

perhaps i never trusted him at all to tell
all my life passions, perhaps I've tried once or twice,but he seemed indifference and I fell into the same old
wall, that protective aspect that keeps us apart but at the same time keeps me well...

They say pray for those who have done u wrong is important to live..
but what if there was never anything done wrong because deep down it was all meant to be.

Perhaps some people in our lives are meant to act as the 'arrogant one' and may be other are meant to be 'the bullies'.. All these challenges, all this strife... helps one perhaps choose a lifestyle of compassion or a lifestyle of the same sad cries..

All people who treated me with anything less than respect taught me how not to treat others or how not to treat me,
with anything other than dignity.

All that is not love, eventually brings us back to love.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Law of the Garbage Truck

Had to share (most of this I got from an article my friend gave me, then shared a few things from my own experiences in here too.. :)

One day I hopped on a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving on the right lane and suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on the brakes, skidded, and missed the other car just by inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved to the guy. And I mean he was really friendly.

So I asked., "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital." This is when the taxi driver taught me what I now call. 'The Law of the Garbage Truck'.

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, full of resentment, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up. they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it to you. Don't take it personally.

Some people have the wisdom actually to see that situation as an opportunity to help a friend out, so they take a little bit of that garbage, and dump it out themselves. Through their love they are able to collect that garbage and transform it into love. Such people are Reiki healers, counselors, psychologists, friends, and loved ones. In Buddhism there's a technique where one breathes in another person's suffering and exhales it out into the Universe once its transformed into love. Other people just are able to plainly maintain presence and that open light and love melts the other's suffering into love eventually. This happened to me once. I was in France and was so devastated. I met a young girl who was so sweet and kind and she listened to me vent for like 20 minutes. She didn't say a word, but looked at me with such compassion, understanding, and kindness. Her love melted all of my suffering. I was so grateful. It was such a beautiful moment.

So when a person comes with a garbage full of waste, just smile, wave, and wish them well. We don't have to keep their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So.. love the people who treat you right and pray for the ones who don't. Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.

Blessings!!!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Mike



My neighbor makes me smile.
I remember in the beginning when I'd knock at his door, and he'd come out with only his underwear on..
and my mouth was wide open and I was a bit surprised and confused,
that this 70 year old man,
has nothing to lose..
no feelings of embarrassment or fear i sensed from this man. He seemed so comfortable, so at ease..
& then I'd smile because it was kinda funny & cute..
Then I got used to it, year after year...

But it was so funny how this lady that brings him food on Tuesdays from meals on wheels knocked on his door, while I watched from the other side of the yard...
He came out in the same old way, wearing only underwear & socks and the look on her face,
made me intensely laugh...
It made my day although she was still in shock.
I had the same faith, that she too will eventually get used to it
& laugh.

He's so funny, sometimes he listens to his music for hours while the dog lies over his stomach & grouls...because she saw a cat then starts to bark but Mike is still sleeping, & I'm just smiling at this spectacle of daily life,
thats so comical to me.
Perhaps it reminds me of when he was asleep,
& someone put a cat nibble over his stomach, & the cat started eating while over his stomach, as he slept, his glasses were crooked while he snored, & the cat all the while was getting fed, another nibble of food.. Mike is a good sport, he knew he wasnt being ridiculed, because when he awakened he also laughed.

Mike, ur very sweet, the dad you are to these dogs, make you a king.
For a king is 1 who takes care of his community, & Mike's community are his dogs, which he loves like most others would never dream of.

I am so grateful for your funny ways,
the way you do things,
make me smile everyday..
Offcourse there's nuissances
but in all I love u in every way.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Minnie


Minnie
Pretty dog
but is that all you are made of?
No,not at all,
it is just the outer dimension.
Your beauty, your looks
is just your skin,
aloof we are when all we look
at is the superficial layer, we're not saints
but when I hold you in my arms and you cuddle with me and soak my heart,
and when you're cute and find a loaf of bread and carry it delightfully on your mouth,
but you were fed..
I think as I see you drool,
you always are ready to have some extra food.
You are smart, you make me laugh,
you are sweet, the sweetest actually,
gentle, loving, but sometimes sad.
Sometimes I see you sad when you whine for no reason, people may say you're very needy but I know you have your reasons.
you were abandoned by 3 families before,
you're used to being thrown out, when you're not wanted anymore.
You finally found a home and here you are to stay,
forever you are loved here,
on any given day.
Sugar spice, Sweet lullaby,
girl who dances in the ocean,
runner of the sand, lover and a fan
of the people who love you most.
You look at us with such love and devotion, and I am thankful
to have you too.
You are my best doggie friend.
I love you Minnie.
I Love u.

I love you

I hold you in my love
I carry you in my arms
I feel your heart, I feel your soul
I feel your essence within my soul
For your soul is my soul,
and this essence is one
One light, one light
and together the light becomes stronger
and magnified,
You help me to shine
I help you to shine
even though it feels like you are centered most of the time,
I see the sharing in our love.
I see the depths and kindness in our love.
And it flows and it beams.
In us there is no extreme,
just a tenderness,
a tender heart.
In us there's compassion,
we always give a willing part.

Life makes it more fascinating to me
when you are part of we.
I love you mercifully.
its ok, everything is okay in this moment. this moment carries a new breath. every moment carries a new breath. can u feel it? can u feel the essence of love thru ur breath? can u feel this support from beyond this world guiding you-never leaving u alone-even though sometimes it doesn't feels like its so-for when deep in our minds or habits nothing ever feels like silence.
when in our thoughts that race so fast, how could we even feel the treasure inside that always lasts.

but that still doesn't make it that we are alone. there's always a treasure in the heart, that's truly who we really are.
and when we come back to this place, we touch back to peace within our space, and then everything can be confronted with more ease.
Let love in, please.
U can do it, for its who u truly are.

never forget your origin.
never lose touch to what you have within-that star that sparks the room.
just open the doors and windows, and you shall see the glow that feels like sunshine.
don't just believe it, experience it.

just like the glow in a baby's eyes, it's like that because there is no mind, occupying his face, no fears filling up walls, its only love that is embraced.
and just seeing that little baby smile fills the room with treasures, he sparks our heart and sparks our eyes, and then our heart feels this warmth.
and without even knowing it, we connected deep within and beyond.

once connected. then eventually we became lost and disconnected, to eventually come back home. we eventually, when really ready, do come back home.

Friday, January 14, 2011

It feels like a re-run, I Get lost, I wake up, I get lost, I wake up again, at least it's better than before where I would be lost again and again. Times are changing, life is asking us to wake up in fast intervals, and it can be very frustrating -this massive awakening, that forces us to finally deal with our wounds, whereas before we tucked it away deep beneath the covers so we won't feel the storm.
But now it's different, everything's changed, things have less meaning, it is essence within that only remains.
I wake up, pack a lunch, but before it all, I feel the love. And if I don't because Im worried, or stressed, or fearful, or lost or hurried, I scan within. I look, I stop, I stop whatever but look within, and watch. I become more accepting of seeing what is. I'm no longer threatened, nor no longer get so mad that Im feeling this tense. I know its not me all these feelings, all these things. I know its just human tendencies, human behaviors, human pain. It's nothing personal, this tension inside the cup. All I can do is bring awareness in and awareness turns into love. When love is in the background of whatever I ever do, everything else melts into the love, it is its origin, it is the only thing that's true. Bring love in, bring it close, feel the aliveness in the hands and even in the feet or just the toes. Feel the tingling and the warmth as both hands almost touch, feel it everywhere and breathe slow, don't worry, all this is a show. Come back to love, its okay, to come back home.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

New day and new ways of spending it. Things seem to have a different perspective when the day involves going to a funeral. Gosh, how we take people for granted sometimes. One day unexpectedly they go. Sometimes the only goodbye we have is seeing their body passing by in a casket with designs, that are filled with religious symbols, if that.. But today he soul was alive as day and amazed I felt her as I prayed. Oh the tears and fears and sadness and years of remembering her face, the cute and happy one that brought us smiles and cookies, Oh.. we embraced
her fully and now swept away to our unknown, a mysterious peek of nature while we slowly mourn. For some of us the afterdeath is not even a mystery for we lived it ourselves, if only but for a glimpse until our soul knew we had to come back to this shell, this body, this instrument, that's handy, this vehicle that can love, that can hate, that can stunn humanity at whole, from good to bad to none- our actions of many, can inspire, transform, or cause petty. Our actions can be kind, or malcicious, or bind us to tormented habits that wastes a precious moment, because of rage.
But when a passing like this comes to our life, we start to wonder how sacred is life. We start instrospecting and discover new ways to be more patient, to have more fun and play.
In the end we are not our habits or what we do, they are just experiences that could potentially possess us if we're not centered and true to our connection to our deeper being. When this light is felt, all else is transient, and meedleling.. Im making up that word, to me it means "back and forth". Duality is ongoing and unstable, but there's something deeper thats not. My friend is feeling this divinity now as we speak, her soul has been lifted, her light is all she can be. She probably is near her daughter

Saturday, January 8, 2011

from tragedy to peace

Its amazing to hear how there were some people in the concentration camps who completely got in touch with peace in the midst of hell. As I was listening to Eckhart he mentioned how Jesus did the same thing. How inspiring that if others can completely go deeply within, we can too. Some traumas are unbearable, truly unbearable, and then things keep happening to bring out the tragedy more and more, in different ways, unexpectedly, and each time its so, we fall... deep into that hole. But Im finding myself coming out,lifting myself up from the ground, and I guess in each challenge that arises, a fruitfilled lesson is here in disguises, that asks us to live, and surrender to the past, and be, the life we really are. We are not the story, but this magical star, this bright filled star that lights the room and heart. Everything on the surface seems like its so important, it beams
for our attention, extremes of
unaffection or severe
culminations of fear and violations of space and respect- the exterior can be such a threat.
Our safety can be in despair, we can lose trust, our body, or be without air.
What can happen on the surface can be truly insane,
but what if it is all a play, & we are actors today, could we take life less seriously and play? & if we lose to monopoly we still feel okay.
All that's forever is the inside of the heart, that warm loving feeling, that helps us to laugh, the sweet love w/in that gives us a glow, the kindness within, the spark, the old friend that looks at us softly, w/compassion, & warmly reminds us its all okay, when we're suffering on a particular day. Its that gentle soul within, that knows nothing more than surrendering and saying yes to what is now & making the most of it somehow.
Can we truly come back home (regardless of the hurt)?
Hurt eases when the story ceases.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

bits from Eckhart Tolle

the root of suffering

when we see someone thru mind actvity, trapped into reducing someone into a mind object, even if that mind object is merely a woman, separate from me. Deny thyself stated by Jesus, dissolve thyself, in order to reduce the story of the head, otherwise we have to always add to ourselves, better teacher, a doctor, own a facility, father,
smart, spiritual.... we are already in our fullness but its obscured by needing mind structures. all that is needed is allowing this moment to be as it is. the now takes many forms, forms may dissolve. become aware. people think now is what happens but what happens changes continously. now is the vast spaciousness in which everything unfolds. futility and madness of no eventually brings us to a yes when the suffering forces us to surrender. yes, this is going on, this person, this emotion, a thought, event, a breakdown, if theres a no, it strengthens form identity-the ME. With a yes, the openess comes, and a miracle happens and you no longer react to the form of what is. and stepping out of 100000 of years of mind patterns. for some it takes something so painful, that theres surrender, others encounter tremendous suffering and dont say yes. but we dont have to wait for disaster, for the yes can at this moment for whatever appears. ego is never aligned with life.

my story, my relationships...my experiences... dont look for who i am in the content. i am not complete in the content of the mind. desire,craving,or thirst,wanting,needing because we are looking for ourselves in realm of content with eating or sexuality, unconscious impulse.. its not really the content but were looking for ourself, running this civilizations, clothing,money, relationships, looking for a long time.. but suddenly comes the realization.. the lack is there, the fear is there.

dear butterfly

Dear butterfly, I found u on the ground. The remains of ur wings in pieces on the ground not yet collecting dust for your soul freshly departed from this body (I hold now in my left hand). As I write I feel. My heart feels you near. My heart sends your love. My heart mourns your loss yet I know you don't (mourn). Though as beautiful as it is, these wings had a purpose, and now they're free to collect in the surface, of earth, and break free like all things are meant to be.Particle by particle, the dust that in time will be these wings, never you, for the wings were not you, but your vehicle. and you used your vehicle quite well. You started out embedded in the earth eating leaves until they were free of leaves and bare. Good appetite you had so you can mature and swivel yourself into a cocoon for what seems like a long time. when it was time to come out, you struggled,but you took your time. you struggled as you needed to do. They say butterflies who have never struggled at 1St never end up making it past the nest but you did. You faced the challenge, you persevered and thru patience the time came near and you broke free and wandered endessly thru the breeze, beyond the trees. You fed for a while and then you danced again with the wind as your partner and friend. You flowed with ease. Many became inspired just by glancing at you. You never had to try to be your best,just the nature of your free spirit showed the rest how to live life free, without entertaining a thought for its never really more important than living life lightly. Now you've departed fro
this shell and gently you're reminding me to live as if noone else, is watching or judging outloud, that's their stuff. Can I be free?
That's eventually perhaps what we're all meant to be.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Human BEINGS.
Are our actions based on the human tendencies in which come about or do our actions arise from that higher purpose,from our deep essence of beingness? That is indeed a question to ask oneself at each given minute, at each waking moment one is offered the ultimate choice, and sometimes how we choose carry much baggage of consequences afterwards. However let us not concentrate on the malactions of others for they know not what they do sometimes, as Jesus put it politely. We are all human beings & carry many similar human temptations and tendencies- one way or the other.
Let us just be inspired and choose. Which part of me will be the captain of this ship? The intellect, the senses, the fears, the emotions, the desires, the attachment, the jealousy, the greed, the insecurities, the selfishness, and all those other tendencies that go in that category of human tendencies? OR do we choose beingness, the core of our ship, the center, the forever circle of ilumination that completes us, that embodies us with who we really are (if we can even silence everything else to connect to this plane of consciousness that is so warm, so loving, so generous, so forgiving,so centered, so kind, so patient, such life). Such aliveness in every moment of the day, sometimes we get glimpses of it and when we do everything becomes okay. Like when we go mountain climbing and the need to focus is so strong that we automatically silence everything else, and the day becomes so vibrant, so full of life, every leaf has a new spark, the day becomes more than a day,it becomes a work of conscious art. Or when we see a new baby for the 1st time and our heart starts to warm up with such love that is so kind. We get glimpses of beingness everyday when we do something joyous, caring, when we are conscious w/ our actions,