Milarepa

The Life of Milarepa
A man who most would think would have no hope, no dreams, no life, no progress, no thought that there could ever be any hope, that he would get better.. How insane to participate in the killing of so many people, when they were flesh and blood, how could anyone ever think of performing such treason, is there any reason to ever trust in someone like this again? How could anyone? Most would defend..
Yet Milarepa showed the world what he could..
At first there was such guilt, without disguise.. He cursed his name, a thousand times..
He resisted healing from gurus around... He suffered so much, but through leaps and bounds.. he kept on going, finding that within all that masterpiece of pain, there was some glory, and some sweetness and depth.. he realized this is all we have that's left, beyond the multiple of layers, of skin, and mind, and bones, and feathers..

That we all have oneness and have it now.
That we all have the ability to reach it somehow.
But all the layers he faced and how..
All the guilt and blame and frowns..
All the hatred his family stored..
All the anger and attachment of it more and more..
He had to face all those layers,
face them straight on, face them each time they faced him.
And at times it was difficult to see..
All the layers screaming deep within..

But deep in the heart he knew it wasn't personal.
That all of us souls go through timeless dimensions..
We may do things that are horrible and that we regret,
but may we realize we don't have to be prisoners forever
of the things we fetched..

At times in plain anger we create such wars,
we create such struggles,
of selfish roars...

But we can go beyond anything we can.
Even if its tremendous, just like this man.
He faced what he did and he was so sorry..
But he went

Rain

Rain
Magnified 1000 times
Stronger than rocks hitting the face,
stronger than thoughts that are harsh,
stronger than an ox running wild and into
only 1 direction..
this way..

I know it seems like life can be a vivid bad dream
sometimes
where all is lost within that circle
and all feels clouded
all feels circled.
All may feel tense, strong, and blurry,
we try so hard to get rid of it,
in a hurry..
because we can't take it anymore..

But it's just a cloud, no less, no more..
It is not who we are
But what we do can come from an inner light
or this human pain that's trully
as overwhelming can be..

I felt it deep when a dear friend of mine
vented about his misery..
and then I spoke to his wife and
listened to her version..
All pain in hidden eyes,
with its own perceived
perception..

It's so sad when trust is lost
and all that's left is a faded love
but 2 dear hearts
come back to play when
all is left is the essence
that stays,
beyond the years,
beyond this life,
beyond these struggles,
beyond the strife..

It's crazy how one can act
when anger is attached to the heart..
Years of building and love
that's yielding can come to a full stop
blow
by an act of anger that hits like snow.

And it can take years rebuilding
what an act from ego caused-
it's bewildering to the heart,
I send them both all my love and my heart.
I send them both all my wishes
to see beyond the mind's sad existence.

And perhaps through time and space and faith,
Life can repair what broke from days
long and long and long ago..
Let's give a chance to
what is beyond the show.

Perhaps we all have to not be in order to now be
what we were not before..
Does that make sense?
Sometimes I feel like there's no pretense..
Dear God, help me put it lightly..
"Feel within, feel within the layers that mask
your cheery soul,
deep down, there's nothing to mourn..
for all is meant to be a game,
to help you come back,
to help you return.
To love."

full moon

On this night
where the full moon shines bright
all emotions are out there
emerging everywhere..
But its okay, because maybe in the next day
or two
can be of use
to face the stressors
that in the past we used.

Forgive him my mom says
and hang out with him
you should be friends...

Is it enough that I'm neutral about it and wish him well or do i have to hang out with him when our past was hell..
noone asked him to treat me so mean when I was young,
or take his anger on me because he was mad.

Perhaps it still hurts,
perhaps deep down it does..
perhaps I lack trust..
perhaps i lack love..

perhaps i never trusted him at all to tell
all my life passions, perhaps I've tried once or twice,but he seemed indifference and I fell into the same old
wall, that protective aspect that keeps us apart but at the same time keeps me well...

They say pray for those who have done u wrong is important to live..
but what if there was never anything done wrong because deep down it was all meant to be.

Perhaps some people in our lives are meant to act as the 'arrogant one' and may be other are meant to be 'the bullies'.. All these challenges, all this strife... helps one perhaps choose a lifestyle of compassion or a lifestyle of the same sad cries..

All people who treated me with anything less than respect taught me how not to treat others or how not to treat me,
with anything other than dignity.

All that is not love, eventually brings us back to love.