Oh my... In the thrill of all these experiences.. the good, the bad, the gentle, the harsh, and how nice when instead of judgement we observe, for that is what it feels like to me, perhaps if i was in other circumstances, instead of tightening, i'd be able to better breathe.. but I can't..
For some reason, some things that happen cause certain triggers and certain stress, when if it happened to another person, there may be no stress, no worry, no doubting, no stories..
Sometimes the thing that we dont like about the other is deep down inside of us. Sometimes the thing we dont like in another is what is the exact opposite of our personality, perhaps its the personality of our gruesome sibling??? or our parent that we still feel resentments towards, or that 5th grade teacher that called us " a procrastinator". But...
perhaps these pains, these triggers, these challenges, that lingers,
are exactly what we, deep down need, so that whatever we previously buried, can come out and breathe again, and become free, and become whole, with the air, as it is allowed to leave, to dissolve, to be free, into universe and space,
for all pain is meant to be is to remind us of what love isnt. and once we know what love isnt, knowing how to love is more possible. For everything that isnt love eventually brings us back, more and more, to this sacred precious gift of unconditional love. The kind of love that is never a doormat, but that gives wisely, that gives without the intent of what he or she is seeking in receiving. It is that love that it is kind, and humble, that it is honest, respectful, with a nurturing, but never co dependent for deep love knows that the master and student go hand in hand. They both go back & forth. One day 1 is teacher, The other day student. For we all learn from eachother, inspired, awakened.

Tonight on the way to the movies I saw two people on their wheelchair, one closely behind the other, as if the one behind was helping propell the person infront. It was such a thing I don't normally see. It was so touching. My heart felt the warmth of their bond. My heart felt the peace in their love. And I drove by, smiling thereon. Lovely things like this remind me of what life is. Life is sacred, it is precious, when spent in a profound heartful way, life is so blessed. But otherwise when were concerned about me me me, or you you you, so that you can make me happy, or money.. etc.. beyond and beyond these dreams of thoughts and things that are inevitably fleeting, within and in the midst of it is a glow of light. That lasts always. That lasts forever. That warmth. That love. That unconditional love. That hope. That trust. That knowing. That experience, when we feel the expansion within, when were not stuck in the mind. life situations are polarities of high & lows..good & bad.. there comes a point when were ready to go beyond, to presence, the now, is deeper than what happens in it.